Our Second Weird Adventure in Wonderland
by hmueller
Summary: Pinocchio and Alice have returned to Wonderland, and this time, Alice discovers she's another destiny to take on. Will she be able to take on this new destiny or will the strange world, that they now discover isn't all that bad, crumble?
1. Prologue

Our Second Weird Adventure in Wonderland

Prologue

My eyes snapped open. I groaned. I'd had that stupid dream again. And I'm pretty sure that Alice had, too.

It had been two months since Alice and I had returned home from Shamouti, and just as her Lugia dad had promised, he came to visit her every night to help with her training. And she was coming along really well at it. But even though her dad was always there to help with her, we both still had to deal with this annoying dream. If this continued, the thought of putting a gun in my mouth would gradually begin to seem more friendly.

I heard movements on the bed next to me and then the small pattering sound of someone's feet. Alice must've gotten out of bed. I heard her bedroom door open and the sound of her leaving. She must've gone to see her father. Her _human_ father. It, at least, made me happy to know that there was someone in this house that Alice could turn to to talk about her problems. Her father was a nice guy, and pretty smart, too. He always seemed to know what to say to make Alice feel better, which was a good thing because, if he wasn't there for Alice when she found out she was a Lugia, she wouldn't be where she is now.

The door opened, and I heard heavier footsteps walking in. The lanturn turned on and I heard Alice getting back into bed and her father sitting next to her.

"Tell me about it," I heard his voice say in a comforting manner.

I remained still in my sleeping bag, not wanting to draw any attention while they spoke.

"I'm falling … down a dark hole," Alice explained. "Then … I see … strange creatures."

"What kind of creatures?" her father asked intently.

"Well there's a dodo bird, a rabbit in a waistcoat, and a smiling cat."

"I didn't know cats could smile."

"Neither did I. And there's a blue caterpillar."

"Blue caterpillar? Hmm."

Silence followed. Then Alice said, "Do you think I've gone around the bend?"

This made my heart break a little. It wasn't fair that all of this was being thrown at Alice all at once. She hadn't experienced as much adventure as I had, so no wonder she was beginning to think she was losing her marbles.

From Alice and her dad's shadows on the wall, I saw him put his hand on her forehead like a doctor checking to see if someone was ill.

"I'm afraid so," he said. "You're mad. Bonkers. Off your head. But I'll tell you a secret … all the best people are."

I heard Alice giggle. It made me happy to know that her father had successfully cheered her up.

"It's only a dream, Alice," he continued. "Nothing can harm you there. But if you ever get too frightened, you can always wake up like this."

"Ow!" I heard Alice cry, but in a playful way. Her dad must've pinched her slightly to show his example.

"You see," he said. "Nothing to worry about. It's only a dream." He kissed her on the forehead, turned off the lantern, and left.

I was happy to know that Alice was alright now, but I felt like _I _should've at least done something. I then got an idea.

I reached into by backpack that was lying right beside me and pulled out my flashlight. Pointing it inside the bag, I rummaged around until I finally found what I was looking for. I pulled out a PokeBall. This would be perfect to help build Alice's confidence.

Flashlight in hand, I slithered out of my sleeping bag and climbed onto Alice's bed.

"Alice," I hissed, shaking her shoulders. "_Alice_."

Alice groaned as she opened her eyes. "What," she said in her usual annoyed tone that she saved just for me.

"I've got something that might help you."

I held out the PokeBall.

"I was planning to give it to you for your birthday, but I decided that you probably need it now."

Alice took the ball and, after staring at it with confusion, pushed the button on it. It opened and out popped a Riolu. It opened its eyes and stared happily at Alice.

"What is that?" she asked

"It's a Riolu, the Emanation Pokemon," I explained. "It uses different auras, which can change depending on its emotion, in order to communicate with others."

"Interesting," Alice said, but she still looked confused. Then she asked, "Why do you have this? I thought you already had all your own Pokemon?"

"I'm always catching Pokemon on my adventures," I explained. "I figured _you_ having a Pokemon would … you know … help you."

Alice looked at me for a moment, but then patted the Riolu on the head.

"Hello, Riolu," she said. The Riolu put its hand on Alice's outstretched arm and gave a sound of delight. "Okay. I'll give it a try."

"Great! And don't worry. I'll help get you into the familiarities of being a Pokemon trainer."

Alice nodded. She put the Riolu back into its ball.

I climbed off the bed and slipped back into my sleeping bag.

"Pinocchio," I heard her whisper.

"Hmm?"

"Thank you … I guess."

I smiled. And as I closed my eyes, I just hoped that what Alice's father had said and me giving her the Riolu would at least help _some_.

* * *

_**Author's Note:**_

_**Hi everyone. So here's the prologue of the fanfic for my **_**all-time favorite movie_. I hope you all enjoy it because I've been waiting so long to do this story. One thing to clear up: I know that Alice is part Pokemon and it may seem weird for_ her_ to have a Pokemon, but you know what, she also part _human_, so please don't give me any crap about that. Okay? Enjoy and please remember to leave a review. _**


	2. Chapter 1

Chapter 1- An Interrupted Engagement Party

_10 years later …._

After all these years, nothing had changed. Alice and I were still having that stupid dream and we _still_ didn't know what it meant. This burden of having to deal with the dream was beginning to wear Alice out, I noticed. She'd grown paler and less fun over the years. However, puberty hit her well, and she'd grown into a very pretty young woman, I have to admit. On another happier note, she was doing very well in her Lugia training. She'd now learned so many moves and was growing stronger every day. Both Lugia and I were very proud of how she'd come along. However, she still had a long way to go, according to her Lugia dad. Also, Alice was becoming a very admirable Pokemon trainer. Over the years, I continued to give her a new Pokemon for her birthdays. She now had a Mawile, the Deceiver Pokemon, a Beautifly, the Butterfly Pokemon, a Kirlia, the Emotion Pokemon, and an Absol, the Disaster Pokemon. And yes, I do realize that most of her Pokemon are from the Hoenn region. Anyway, my teachings on how to be a Pokemon trainer were going well, and she had created a bond with her Pokemon. Even though these dreams were torturing us, mostly her, she still had her good days.

Unfortunately, today was _not_ a good day, because we were going to this big party hosted by the Ascots, a wealthy family of whom worked with Alice's father in the trading company. And they _sucked_. Lady Ascot was a stuffy stick in the mud, Lord Ascot was stiff, yet unflappable, and their son Hamish was … _ugh_. Alice had known him ever since she was a kid, but every time I saw his face, it took all the strength I could muster to keep myself from throwing up. And now, today, we were going to a party at their mansion, and, unfortunately, _I _had to go as well. I couldn't be left alone at home all because of _one_ time when I accidentally trashed the house. There was a mouse! I was trying to kill it, I swear! But that little incident caused me to have to go _everywhere_ with the Kingsleigh's when they went out. And today, … well, if I had to pick between taking cyanide and going to the party, I'd pick the cyanide.

I was sitting in Alice's room on her bed, waiting for the announcement for when we would go. I was reading_ Slaughterhouse Five_, which was a book that I'd_ never_ read for the life of me, but since I was incredibly bored, it was the only thing I could think of doing that would keep me entertained at the moment. I began reading a limerick that was at the beginning of the book.

"_There was a young man from Stamboul,_

_Who soliloquized thus to his tool …"_

"Huh," I said to myself. "I've never seen the word 'tool' used like that before …. Oh well."

But before I could continue, I heard Ms. Kingsleigh's voice call, "Pinocchio, it's time to go!"

"UHG! _Fine_!" I groaned. I closed the book, put it in my backpack, put my backpack in my pocket, and trudged downstairs.

Alice and her mother were waiting outside along with a horse-drawn carriage. I noticed Alice was wearing a pretty, light blue dress and had her hair pulled back. It was a shame; I liked her hair down. She looked prettier that way. She also looked extremely tired. But I couldn't blame her. Who wouldn't be tired if they kept having a recurring dream bothering them for ten freaking years.

We clambered into the carriage and were on our way. I watched as the buildings of London passed us and then fade into the countryside. Nobody spoke the whole ride until Alice's mom started messing with her hair.

"Must we go?" she asked.

_I agree_, I thought. _Do we _really_ have to do this. It's not like this family is nice to us, anyway. _

"I doubt they'll notice if we never arrive," Alice continued.

_Let's just hope so_, I begged silently.

"They_ will_ notice," Ms. Kingsleigh said in a slightly firm voice. She adjusted Alice's dress, but then gave an angry look. "Where's your corset?"

Alice looked away. I had to agree with her not wanting to put that on. Who would want to wear something that looked like it was suffocating the crap out of them?

Inhaling angrily, Alice's mom lifted her dress above her ankles. "And no stockings!"

"I'm against them," Alice said defensively.

"But you're not properly dressed!"

"Who's to say what is proper?" I could hear Alice's human father coming out of her. He always acted like that, considering things in a logical manner. That's what made him so freaking awesome! "What if it was agreed that 'proper' was wearing a codfish on your head? Would you wear it?"

I snickered at this statement. She had a point.

Her mother closed her eyes irritably. "Alice."

"To me a corset is like a codfish," Alice said.

"Please," her mom snapped. "Not today."

"Father would've laughed," Alice mumbled.

I felt one of those moments where a car screeching and crashing sound effect would've worked perfectly for the moment. Her mother looked down hurt.

When Alice was thirteen, her father had died when he went out to sea on one of his trading routes. A huge storm had broken out and his boat sank. It was a really sad time for the family, especially Alice, having the one person of whom she could talk to taken away from her. Thankfully, her Lugia dad was there to help her during that time. I'd done my best to try and help, but she was still pretty hurt.

"I'm sorry," Alice apologized. "I'm tired. I didn't sleep well last night."

"Did you both have bad dreams again?" Alice's mom asked worryingly. This was one of the few times Alice's mom was actually concerned about me. _That_ was a rare occasion that barely happened between us.

"Only one," Alice said honestly. "It's always the same since we can remember. Do you think that's normal? Don't most people have different dreams?"

Alice had a point, and she _was_ right. Most people did have different dreams.

Her mom shook her head, as if she didn't know how to answer that question. "I don't know," was all she could say.

Alice looked slightly downtrodden by this. Her mom removed her necklace and put it around her daughter's neck. At least she was trying to help Alice now.

"There," she said. "You're beautiful. Now, can you manage to smile?"

Alice gave a small, attempted smile. I even smiled at this small moment of hope, but then boredom settled on me again, and I pressed my face against the window.

"How much longer?" I groaned, as if someone had just asked me to donate a kidney. "I've been sitting here so long, my butt muscles are starting to hurt."

"Quit your whining," Alice hissed, smacking me on the arm. In the past years, the pain Alice had given me hadn't changed. It was strange that she would grown _this_ old while hanging around me so much. I'd thought, for sure, that my aging curse would've affected her by now.

Back at the Academy when I was being transformed into a robot, something happened in the lab with some of the magic they would be using for later, and I got this aging curse put on me. It wouldn't affect me because I'm a robot, but anyone else who hangs around me for a couple of days would soon feel the side effect of it. In other words, they would stop aging. They could still die if they got, like, sick, or if someone stabbed them, but they would pretty much go on living forever. But for some odd reason, it hadn't taken affect on Alice yet …. Oh well.

"You better not embarrass me this time," Alice said warningly to me.

"When was the last time I embarrassed you?" I asked scandalized.

Alice gave me a _don't-give-me-that-crap_ look.

"_Fine_," I huffed, throwing my hands in the air and rolling my eyes. "I won't do anything …. But I'll _still_ be bored out of my mind."

"Did you bring your DS?" Alice asked. Over the years, she had become familiarized with the different pieces of technology I carried with me.

"It's charging."

"What about your phone?"

"I'm only using it when necessary. I don't want to drain the battery life."

"What about your iPod?"

I stopped myself before I could say anything.

"Eh," I said, shrugging my shoulders.

The carriage soon came to a stop as we arrived at the Ascot's mansion. We clambered out and walked into the gardens where the party was already in full swing. And there were Lord and Lady Ascot, looking like how all crappy, rich families were.

"At last," Lady Ascot said, a small edge of annoyance in her voice. "We thought you'd never arrive."

_I was hoping we would have an accident on the way here,_ I said to myself.

"Alice, Hamish is waiting to dance with you," the old woman continued. "Go!"

Alice unhappily trotted off to wherever the heck Hamish was. When she'd left, the Ascots' gazes fell on me.

"Oh, _you're_ here," Lady Ascot said disapprovingly.

"Nice to see you, too," I mumbled under my breath. I turned to Alice's mother. "If you don't mind, I'm going to find a tree to sit under until this whole bru-hah-hah is over."

"Fine," Ms. Kingsleigh sighed.

I trudged off towards the gardens, my head hanging as if this was the worst day of my life (which it kind of was). I eventually found a big tree a ways off where everyone was dancing. Now was the time for me to start entertaining myself.

First, I banged my head against the tree multiple times in hopes of giving myself a concussion so that I wouldn't have to endure this boring-butt party anymore. But that didn't work. So then, I decided to walk around the tree a few times, hoping to make myself get dizzy and throw up. _That_ would hopefully make us leave. After a few minutes, I _had_ gotten dizzy, but not enough to get sick. So after that, I let myself fall down against the three, and after getting myself into a comfortable position, I decided to listen to some music on my iPod. Wanting to listen to something more catchy than the waltz music that they were playing, I first listened to "Lake Shore Drive." That was able to lift my spirits some.

It made me think back to one time when Alice and I were put in a time out for once again fighting. I wanted to make peace with Alice, so I put this song on and we ended up dancing together along with it. After that, it became Alice's favorite song from the 70s.

I tapped my fingers to the piano part of the song, bobbed my head back and forth, and sang a little of the refrain quietly. Then I listened to "My Sweet Lord," another excellent song, in my opinion. I imitated myself playing a guitar at the electric guitar parts and sang the "Hallelujah" moments. Then I decided to pump myself with metal, so I listened to the "Immigrant Song." Like most people, I mouthed the screaming parts and headbanged like there was no tomorrow. And I honestly didn't care if anyone saw me. Now was _my_ time.

After that was over, I noticed Alice and Hamish slinking away from the dance floor. I quickly put my iPod away and crawled like a tiger approaching its prey up to them.

"Alice, meet me under the gazebo in precisely ten minutes," Hamish ordered and then walked away. He looked as disgustingly stupid as ever.

I popped up from the grass right next to Alice. She gave a small jump, but then relaxed when she saw it was me.

"Hey," I said, wanting to make some pleasant conversation with her. "So, how'd it go?"

"Well, I was able to survive it," she murmured. "We heard you singing, by the way."

I waited for the angry blow of Alice saying that I embarrassed her, yet again.

"But we just ignored it."

I opened my eyes in shock. I wasn't expecting _that_ to come out of her mouth.

"Mmm," I said. "Why does Hamish want to meet with you under the gazebo?"

"Who knows."

We heard some giggling behind us. We turned around and saw the Chattaway twins, Faith and Fiona. They were friends of the Ascot family and, therefore, had to get mingled with the Kingsleighs. Not only were they annoying, but they were_ huge_ gossipers, as well.

"We have a secret to tell you," Faith said with a stupid grin on her face.

"If you're telling us, it's not much of a secret," Alice pointed out.

"Duh," I mumbled.

"Perhaps we shouldn't," Fiona said slightly panicky.

"We decided we should!" Faith cried.

"If we tell her, she won't be surprised."

"Will you be surprised?"

"Not if you tell us," Alice said. "But now that you've brought it up, you have to."

"Yeah, you both are in the doghouse now," I said.

"No, we don't and _aren't_," Faith said eagerly.

"In fact, we won't!" Fiona agreed, looking as stupidly happy as her sister.

Alice then gave a sneaky look. "I wonder if your mother knows that you two swim naked in the Havershims' pond."

"Ooooh," I laughed in a delightfully evil way.

The smiles on the girls' faces vanished.

"You wouldn't!" cried Faith.

"Oh, but we would," said Alice. "There's your mother right now." Alice turned her head and pointed to the girls' mother.

"I've even got a picture of you both on my phone," I said maliciously, taking out my phone and turning it on. I was lying, of course. I'm not a pervert.

"Hamish is going to ask for your hand!" Fiona blabbed.

All body movement left me at that statement. I almost dropped my phone. "_What_?" I said in a low voice.

"You've ruined the surprise," a scolding voice said. It was Margaret. I'd totally forgotten she was here as well.

In the past ten years, Margaret had gotten married to some guy named Lowell. She seemed pretty happy with him, but now that_ this_ was suddenly happening, she was most likely wanting the same for Alice. The only difference was that I was pretty sure that Alice was going to commit suicide on the night of the honeymoon.

Margaret grabbed a hold of Alice's shoulder and led her away from the twins. I quickly stuffed my phone into my pockets and followed them.

Margaret made an angry sound. "I could strangle them!" I heard her whisper.

_Please do_, I begged quietly. _It would free the world from another unnecessary annoyance._

"Everyone went to so much effort to keep it a secret," Margaret continued.

"Does everyone know?" Alice asked, sounding as if she were dreading the worse.

"It's why they've all come. This is your engagement party. Hamish will ask you under the gazebo. When you say yes-"

"But I don't know if I want to marry Hamish," Alice interrupted, sounding as if she didn't want to hear the end of that sentence.

"Who then? You won't do better than a lord."

We all looked over at Hamish who was blowing his nose … and then looked at the bugger in his handkerchief. I gave an incredibly disgusted look.

_Please_, I said to myself. _She can do better than_ that_!_

"You'll soon be twenty, Alice," Margaret said. "That pretty face won't last forever. You don't want to end up like Aunt Imogene, do you?"

She nodded over to the old lady who was sitting under an umbrella, fanning herself.

"And you don't want to be a burden on Mother, do you?" Margaret continued.

"No," Alice said, as if she couldn't answer any other way.

"So, you will marry Hamish. You'll be as happy as I am with Lowell, and your life will be perfect. It's already decided."

_Oh boy_, I thought.

"Alice dear," Lady Ascot said, suddenly appearing out of nowhere.

Alice and Margaret stopped walking.

"I'll leave you to it," Margaret said and then walked away.

"Shall we take a leisurely stroll through the garden?" Lady Ascot offered. "Just _you_ and_ me_."

Her eyes fell upon me and she gave me this look as if I was the most disgusting thing she'd ever seen.

I rolled my eyes and walked away, but then I stopped. I turned around and watched the two walk away. Wanting to hear this, I decided to turn invisible (another function that the Academy set me up with) and follow them. I climbed on top of the hedges and after some searching, I found them in a part of the garden that was filled with roses. I walked cat-like along the hedge that was closest to them.

"Do you know what I've always dreaded?" Lady Ascot said.

"The decline of the aristocracy?" Alice answered. I had no idea what that meant, but at least it was an answer.

"Ugly grandchildren," Lady Ascot said. "But you're lovely. You're bound to produce little … _imbeciles_!"

I wasn't expecting that to come out of her mouth, but then I saw that she was staring at the roses.

"The gardeners planted white roses when I _specifically_ asked them red!" Lady Ascot continued.

"You could always paint the roses red," Alice suggested. I sniggered a little.

"What an odd thing to say," Lady Ascot said. They continued walking. "You should know that my son has extremely delicate digestion …"

But I saw that Alice wasn't paying attention. She was looking off into the bushes. I followed her gaze … and I saw what looked like a rabbit hopping through. I stopped dead.

"Did you see that?" Alice asked.

"See what?" Lady Ascot said puzzled.

"Twas a rabbit, I think."

"Nasty things. I do enjoy setting the dogs on them."

_Yeesh_, I thought.

Lady Ascot went back to talking about nonsense. "If you serve Hamish the wrong foods, he could get a blockage."

I saw that Alice wasn't paying attention again. She was staring at the bushes, once more. I looked that way as well … and again, I saw the rabbit.

"Did you see it that time?" Alice asked.

"See what?" Lady Ascot said again.

"The rabbit!"

"Don't shout!"

_Geez, lady_, I thought. _What are you? The royals?_

"Now pay attention. Hamish said you were easily distracted. What was I saying?"

"Hamish has a blockage," Alice started, but both of our gazes fell onto a doorway just ahead, and there was the unmistakable rabbit sitting there for about two seconds and then ran off.

"I couldn't be _more_ interested, but you'll have to excuse me," Alice said, finally getting away from Lady Ascot and running in the direction of where the rabbit was. I jumped down from the hedge and followed her. I eventually caught up to her halfway between the hedges. When I became visible again, Alice jumped and gave a small squeal.

"Don't do that!" she hissed.

"Sorry," I said.

"Did you hear everything we were saying?"

"I heard enough. You can't marry Hamish because first off, he's disgusting, and two, what if he finds out about … you-know-what?"

Alice stopped.

"I don't know," she said honestly. "I didn't think about that 'till now."

I saw the deep confliction on her face. Nobody in the family knew about Alice being a Lugia besides me, Alice's mom, Margaret, and Coraline (I wrote about that). Not even Margaret's husband knew. Deciding to change the subject, I said, "I saw the rabbit."

"You _did_!" Alice said, sounding happy to know that someone else had seen it. "Then I suppose I'm not going mad …. But then again, if _you_ saw it."

I didn't know what she meant, at first, but then it hit me.

"Hey!" I yelled offended.

"Come on." Alice grabbed my wrist and pulled me through the hedges.

"By the way," I asked, "what's a 'blockage'?"

Alice stopped, leaned down, and whispered what it was in my ear.

"OH GROSS!" I shouted. Alice shrugged, and we continued on our way.

When we made our way out of the maze, we saw Aunt Imogene nearby.

"Aunt Imogene," Alice said, walking towards her. "I think I'm going mad. I keep seeing a rabbit in a waistcoat."

"Hey, _I _saw it, t-" I didn't get to finish because Alice stepped on my foot. I hopped on my other foot, massaging my damaged one.

"Can't be bothered with your fancy rabbit now," Aunt Imogene said, fanning herself. "I'm waiting for my fiance."

Now _this_ was something that neither of us had heard about.

"You have a fiance?" Alice said confused.

But then we both saw some movement in the bushes. The rabbit!

"There!" Alice cried, pointing. "Did you see it."

"He's a prince," Aunt Imogene said, as if she hadn't heard Alice. "But, alas, he cannot marry me unless he renounces his throne. It's tragic, isn't it."

Now that made me sad inside. Poor Aunt Imogene was old and her mind was starting to go. But nobody in the family had the heart to tell her what was going on. So all Alice managed to say was, "Very," and we both walked away.

After we escaped _that_ situation, we heard some odd movement coming from within the garden. Walking under an archway, we both saw Margaret's husband, Lowell, … _kissing _another woman!

My mouth dropped open.

"Lowell?" Alice said puzzled.

"Alice," Lowell said, slightly flustered. "We were just … Hattie's an old friend." The woman walked off as Lowell approached us.

"I can see you've very close," Alice said.

"Yeah," I muttered. "A little_ too_ close."

"Look, you won't mention this to you sister, will you?" he asked. "Either of you?" His gaze fell upon me.

"I can't promise you that, buddy," I said, deciding to mess with him. "I'm kind of a big blabber."

Lowell looked slightly panicked at this.

"I don't know," Alice said. "I'm confused. I need time to think."

"Well, think about Margaret," Lowell said. "She would never trust me again. You don't want to ruin her marriage, do you?"

I gasped. He'd touched a button.

"_Me_?" Alice said incredulously. "But _I'm_ not the one sneaking around behind her back …"

She stopped abruptly. I turned … and there was Hamish. Hooray.

"_There_ you are," he said.

I saw Alice give a look as if she was preparing for the worst. So was I.

* * *

In less than five minutes, everyone was gathered around the gazebo. Everybody was smiling except for me. I was wearing a grumpy look and I crossed my arms in a pouty manner. The only other person who didn't look happy, apart from me, was Alice, who looked as though this engagement was her own death sentence. Hamish got down on one knee, taking Alice's hands into his.

"Alice Kingsleigh," he began, but then Alice interrupted.

"Hamish."

"What is it?" he hissed.

"You have a caterpillar on your shoulder."

She was right. There was a small, blue insect on his shoulder. Hamish gave a look as if the thing was brandishing a knife at him. He was about to flick it off.

"Don't hurt it," Alice said, quickly intervening. She picked up the caterpillar and put it on a leaf. Even at her horrible engagement party, her Lugia instincts still showed.

"You'll want to wash that finger," Hamish said in disgust.

I rolled my eyes. All these people seriously came here to see _this_?

"Alice Kingsleigh," Hamish continued, "will you be my wife?"

He made a dumb smile that made me gag a little. _Please say no_, I begged silently.

Alice looked even more nervous than before.

"Well," she stammered, "everyone expects me to … and you've a Lord … my face won't last … and I don't want to end up like …."

She looked over Aunt Imogene, who looked slightly hurt.

"But this is happening so quickly, I …"

She walked away from Hamish and looked out at everyone.

"I think I …"

She looked over to her left. I followed her gaze … and there was the rabbit, taking out his watch and tapping it impatiently. My eyes bulged and my mouth dropped open.

"I think I …" Alice said, turning back towards the crowd.

I shook my head at her. _Don't do it_, I begged, but then-

"I need a moment."

Alice ran off the gazebo and after the rabbit.

"Alice!" I yelled. Instinctively, I ran after her.

I eventually caught up with her and saw the rabbit running ahead. We followed it through the trees and up the hill. At the top of the hill, there were the remains of an old tree and at the base of it was a rabbit hole. Alice got on her knees and leaned over the hole. I squatted next to her.

"Hello," she called. "Sure is a long way down."

"SURE IS!" I said loudly, trying to be comical.

Alice jumped … and fell down the rabbit hole.

"Whelp," I said to myself, "Alice is going to kill me."

I would've walked away and let her deal with her problems by herself, but as her Pokemon protector, I knew I had to make sure she was safe. So I jumped in after her.

I caught up with her as we fell through the dark hole. This time, I don't think Alice's dress would be opening up to form a parachute. This was so much easier back then.

Also, Alice kept banging into stuff, like a bookshelf, the wall, me, the wall …. She then tried to grab onto a loose root, but it broke. Then she hit a piano, but was able to block it using her forcefield ability before it could hit her. Then we bounced off a bed that was just randomly sitting somewhere, and then …

_BAM!_

We hit what must've been the bottom of the hole.

"Well," I said, "that was fun."

"_Fun_!" Alice seethed. "You made me fall down, you idiot."

"Oh come on! Can't you take a h- Why is that chandelier upside down?"

It was true. We were sitting next to a chandelier. Then I saw that Alice's hair was standing up on end. I screamed and pointed. Then my hat fell off. And that's when I realized, we weren't on the floor; we were on the ceiling.

Alice and I fell again, and landed on the floor, me landing headfirst. I was so glad I didn't get a concussion.

When we got up, we noticed that we were in a room that was filled with doors. Then I realized, we must've been having that stupid dream again. But this room wasn't like this before. Must've done some remodeling. Alice began trying the doors, but they were all locked. After trying the last door, we both turned and saw a table in the middle of the room that must've just appeared out of thin air (of course). On the table was a key. Alice walked over and picked the key up. She tried it on all of the doors. I didn't work for any of them, except for one that was behind a curtain … and was small.

Alice and I stooped down. For some odd reason, the door wasn't talking like before. Must've gotten rid of that door and replaced it with an inanimate, less annoying door. She put the key in the lock and the door opened. She tried to crawl through it, but, of course, couldn't fit through it. I don't know _where_ Alice's brain was today. She looked frustrated, but then looked back at the table. Following her gaze, I saw that there was a small bottle full of … whatever on the table. We both got and walked toward the table. Alice put the key on the table (which _I _knew was stupid on her part) and picked up the bottle. Like last time, it had a card on it that said "Drink me". Alice unstoffered the bottle and sniffed it. She gave a disgusted face. It must've smelled like crap.

"It's only a dream," she said to herself, and then drank whatever was inside the bottle.

_Great_, I thought, _she's YOLOing it again_.

After taking a huge swig from the bottle, she put it down and began coughing. That made me confused. The last time she drank from the bottle, she said it had a bunch of different types of flavors with it. But now, she was reacting to it as if she'd just drunken Milk of Magnesia. Then, she began shrinking. However, _this_ time, her clothes weren't shrinking with her. I turned away in case she came out naked.

"Alice!" I called. "You okay!"

"I'm fine," I heard her voice, and then she said annoyed, "You can look."

I turned around and saw that she still had her skirts on, which was a relief, because I was_ not_ going to be walking around with her buckskin naked.

"Hang on, girl," I said, picking up the bottle. "I'm coming."

I popped the bottle into my mouth and drank. Alice's reaction from before was completely accurate because _this_ stuff tasted so bad that I can't even put it into words. I missed when it tasted like my favorite snack food.

In no time, I had shrunk to the same height as Alice, but _I _still had my clothes on. I pointed at her and gave her a Nelson Muntz laugh. She rolled her eyes, and we both went over to the door.

It had locked again. Alice turned back to the table, where she'd left the key. She tried climbing up the table to get it, but had no avail.

"Nice work, doofus," I mumbled.

"Oh, well if _you're _so smart, why don't_ you_ just fly up there and get it!" she said angrily.

"I would, but … I'm too lazy."

Alice punched me in the face. After massaging my jaw, I was about to punch back, when something caught our eyes.

There was a small glass case under the table. Alice bent down and opened it. In it was a cake that said "Eat me."

"I wouldn't do that," I said, but Alice wasn't listening. She ate a piece of the cake … and started growing. She grew up until she hit the ceiling. I just hoped that it wouldn't collapse on us.

She bent down, got the key, grabbed the bottle again, drank some of the potion, and shrank back to the size she was before.

We both then raced for the door. Alice put the key in the lock and the door opened.

* * *

_**Author's Note:**_

_**Hi everyone. Man, this chapter ended up being super long. But I'm glad I got it done. Enjoy and please leave a review. Also, I do not own any of the references made in this chapter. **_


	3. Chapter 2- Welcome Back to Wonderland

Chapter 2- Welcome Back to Wonderland

On the other side was a huge, beautiful garden.

_So_ this_ is what this place looked like before Alice flooded the pla,_ I thought.

We walked down the path and through the threshold of a huge gate … and almost got run over by a green piglet. There were strange bugs flying all over the place.

"Curiouser and curiouser," Alice muttered.

While this place was cool, there was something off about it. It didn't seem as colorful as last time.

"I told you she's the right Alice," said a voice ahead of us.

We looked up … and there was the White Rabbit. I noticed that he was now wearing a blue waistcoat instead of a red one. Also, he'd lost his glasses. Must've gotten contacts.

"I am not convinced," said a mouse next to him. That must've been the Dormouse from the tea party. However, it didn't seem as tired as last time. And it was … a _girl_? I thought it was a guy …. Or was it? …. I couldn't really tell from last time.

"How is _that_ for gratitude?" the Rabbit said annoyed. "I've been up there for week trailing one Alice after the next. And I was almost _eaten_ by other animals."

Apparently predator and prey weren't a thing down here.

"Can you imagine," he continued. "They go out entirely unclothed and they do their … _shukm_ … in public." I giggled at that. "I had to avert my eyes. And also, _if_ she wasn't the right Alice, then why would she have_ him_ with her?" He pointed at me. "I remember him from last time. Such an annoyance." I frowned.

"She doesn't look anything like herself," said a voice off to the left. I looked over and saw that it was those snooty flowers from last time. They apparently hadn't changed.

"That's because she's the wrong Alice," the Dormouse said.

I suppose they weren't thinking about her having grown up.

It was then that I noticed that there were two boys standing behind the Mouse and the Rabbit. They must've been the Tweedle Twins. However, they seemed to have gotten an entirely different wardrobe, lost the stupid hats, and shaved their heads. What the hashtag-dollar sign-at sign-astrix was going on here?

"If she was, she might be," said one of them.

"But if she isn't, she ain't," said the other.

"But if she were so, she would be."

"But she isn't. No-how."

If this confusion went on any longer, I thought my head was going to explode.

"How can I be the 'wrong Alice' when this is _our_ dram?" Alice finally said. Thank gosh she ended that long spiel. "And who are _you_, if I might ask?"

Seriously? She didn't remember_ any_ of these guys. Well, then again, they did look different from last time.

"Oh, I'm Tweedledee, and he's Tweedledum," introduced one of the twins.

"Contrariwise, I'm Tweedledum - he's Tweedledee," said the other.

"We should consult Absolem," said the Dodo which I just noticed was standing there as well. He was no longer wearing the ridiculous outfit from last time. This time, he was nude and only wore glasses.

"Exactly," said the Rose. "Absolem will know who she is."

"I'll escort you both," said Tweedledum, walking over. But then his brother came over and they started fighting over who would escort us.

"Are they always this way?" Alice asked as we were both being pulled back and forth by the twins.

"Family trait," the Rabbit explained. "You can _both _escort them."

* * *

After walking for, probably, a half an hour through a bunch of mushrooms, Alice finally spoke.

"Who is this Absolem?"

"He's wise," the White Rabbit explained. "He's absolute."

"He's absolute," the twins said together in agreement.

_I _didn't even know who this "Absolem" person (or thing) was. If he was wise, then maybe he was like this world's Gandalf.

That assumption began to make even more sense when I saw a big cloud of smoke up ahead. After walking in it for five seconds, we stopped.

"Who are you?" said a deep voice. When the smoke cleared, we saw a blue caterpillar wearing a monocle smoking a hookah. Oh. Absolem was _that_ guy.

"Absolem?" Alice said.

"You're not Absolem," he said. "_I'm_ Absolem. The question is …" He took a huge smoke from the hookah, " … who are _you_?"

Alice and I coughed as he blew smoke in our faces.

"Alice," she managed to say.

"We shall see."

"What do you mean by that? I ought to know who I am!"

"Yes, you ought, stupid girl." I sniggered. "Unroll the Oraculum."

He pointed to a scroll that was sitting on a mushroom off to the side. We all walked over to it, and the White Rabbit unrolled it.

"The Oraculum," he explained. "Being the Calendrical Compendium of Underland."

There were a bunch of pictures on it that all looked like they were moving, like the pictures in the newspapers in the _Harry Potter_ series. I also reminded me of the scroll from the beginning of _Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker_.

"It's a calendar," Alice observed.

"Compendium," Absolem corrected. "It tells of each and everyday since the beginning."

"Today is Griblig Day in the time of the Red Queen," the White Rabbit said. He pointed to a picture of all of us looking at the Oraculum.

"Who's the Red Queen?" I asked.

"More on that later," the Rabbit said.

"Show them the Frabjous Day," Absolem said.

"Yeah, Frabjous being the day you slay the Jabberwocky," Tweedledee said.

Alice looked confused. "Sorry. Slay a what?"

Tweedledum pointed at another picture on the scroll. "That being you there with the Vorpal Sword," he explained.

"No other swords can kill the Jabberwocky," Tweedledee went on. "No-how."

"If it ain't Vorpal, it ain't dead," Tweedledum finished.

The person in the picture_ did _look like Alice. And she did look like she was about to kill the crap out of the giant dragon-looking creature in the page. This whole thing was starting to sound more and more like _Lord of the Rings_, which was AWESOME!

Alice began backing away, looking nervous and in denial. "That's not me," she said.

"I know!" the Dormouse said sassily.

"Hey you!" I shouted at her, giving her a threatening pointing finger. "Watch it!"

"Resolve this for us Absolem," the Rabbit pleaded. "Is she the right Alice?"

"Not hardly," Absolem said as he disappeared into his cloud of smoke again.

"I told you," the Mouse hissed.

"Oh dear," the Rabbit groaned.

They all started ganging up on us like cops when the criminal is stuck in an alleyway.

"I said so!" said Tweedledum.

"_I _said so!" Tweedledee shot back.

"Contrariwise, you said she might be!"

"No, _you_ said she would be if she _was_!"

"Little imposter," said one of the flowers. "Pretended to be Alice. She should be ashamed.

"I was so certain of you," the Rabbit said in despair.

I guess they were all going to forget about _me_ then? Okay.

"I'm sorry," Alice said slightly annoyed. "I don't mean to be the wrong Alice!" Then she stopped. "Wait, this is _our_ dream. We're going to wake up now, and you'll all disappear."

I soon caught onto what she was saying.

"See ya, suckers," I said, saluting them good-bye.

Alice pinched herself, while I punched myself in the face. Neither worked. Everyone was looking at us confused.

"That's odd," Alice said. "Pinching usually does the trick."

"I could stick you both if that would help," the Mouse said, pulling out a needle.

"Uhh," I said, not sure if that was a good idea.

"It might, actually," Alice said. "Thank you."

I gave Alice a scandalized look. Oh well. It was her funeral.

"My pleasure." The Mouse walked over and poked Alice in the foot.

"Ow!" Alice cried.

Two seconds later, something came smashing into the garden.

"BANDERSNATCH!" the Tweedles yelled.

Whatever they said it was was big, dangerous, white with black spots, and looked like some sick experiment cross-breeding a dog and a polar bear. Oh and it looked angry.

Alice and I ran for it. I didn't look back, because I knew that if I did, I would be dead. Plus, that's what idiots did. When we reached the end of the garden, Alice stopped.

"Wait," she whispered.

"What are you doing!" I hissed, running over and pulling at her arm. "Come on!"

"Pinocchio, this is a dream. Nothing can hurt us."

I stared at her, contemplating this. "Fair enough." I had no idea _what_ was going on, but I was willing to take that.

We both turned around and watched as the Bandersnatch-thing approached us like a tiger about to pounce on its prey.

"Can't hurt me. Can't hurt me," I heard Alice say, as if she were trying to psych herself out.

The Bandersnatch stopped in front of us and roared. I gagged. Its breath was _horrible_. And I thought_ Hamish_ was the personification of all things gross, but_ that_ thing's breath just beat him. The Dormouse screamed something, but we couldn't hear it. I then figured that maybe this thing was like the t-rex in _Jurassic Park_. As long as we didn't move, we would be fine. But then the Mouse climbed on top of the Bandersnatch … and pulled its eyeball out with her needle. Well, I guess I'd seen worse. But not Alice. The Bandersnatch threw its paw up to its eye hole, scratching Alice on the arm. She screamed in pain. Having enough of this, I grabbed her by the arm and we ran out of the garden. The Tweedles in tow.

* * *

We soon came to a fork in the road with a tree that had signs on them. The one pointing right said "Queast" and the one pointing left said "Snud".

"This way," Tweedledum said, grabbing Alice by the arm. "East to Queast."

"No, south to Snud!" Tweedledee argued, pulling the other way.

A loud screech came from behind. We turned around and saw a giant bird flying towards us.

"CRAP!" I yelled.

The Tweedles screamed, while Alice and I ducked. The bird picked up the boys and flew off.

"Well, now what?" I said.

Alice began walking toward a leafless forest off to wherever Queast would take her.

"Where are you going!" I shouted, but she just continued to walk along. Now I was getting really annoyed. "HEY!" She still didn't turn back. Giving in, I ran after her, yelling, "Wait up!"

* * *

_**Author's Note:**_

_**Hey everybody. Sorry this one's a little late. I hope you all had a good fourth. Please remember to leave a review. And I don't own anything. **_


	4. Chapter 3- Cat, Hare, and Hatter

Chapter 3- Cat, Hare, and Hatter

"Alice, my leg hurts," I whined.

"Which leg?" Alice asked flatly.

"My arm hurts and I have to pee."

"I asked you about that five minutes ago."

"Well, I didn't have to go then!" I flopped face first on the ground. "I don't wanna walk anymore."

Alice groaned. "Pinocchio, if you don't hurry up, the … uhh …." She sounded as though she were trying to think of some thinly-veiled excuse for making me get back up. "The … Sceptile will eat you."

"Sceptile are vegetarian," I corrected. I flipped over onto my side. "Also, Pokemon don't _eat_ people. _Duh_."

Alice huffed angrily. Then she walked over, picked me up by the collar and put me back on my feet.

"Come on," she said irritably, forcing me to walk.

We'd been walking for several hours in the forest, and we hadn't gotten anywhere. I was so bored, I thought I was going to snap and commit suicide. I tried entertaining myself by humming "Kira's Song" from _The Dark Crystal _a few times because the sounds of the forest reminded me of the movie, but Alice made me stop, saying that some animal might hear us and eat us. On the bright side, we'd seen some Pokemon along the way.

However, I kept feeling like something was following us. I just hoped it wasn't that Bandersnatch thing again. I looked over at Alice's wounded arm. Blood was still welling from it.

"How's your arm?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"It hurts," she said bluntly. "_A lot_."

I gave her a sympathetic look. It was bad enough that these dreams were bothering her repeatedly; now _this_ was happening!

And things were about to get worse.

"It looks like you ran afoul of something with wicked claws," a deep voice said behind us.

We whirled around and saw a gray cat with blue stripes and a big grin sitting on a branch. I suddenly remembered who it was: the Cheshire Cat. Rage began to course through me.

"YOU!" I screamed.

I tried to leap towards him, but Alice grabbed me around the belly.

"Pinocchio stop!" she shouted.

"YOU ALMOST GOT US KILLED IN COURT! I'M GONNA TEAR YOU LIMB FROM LIMB, AND THEN SHOOT AT YOUR CARCASS, AND THEN BURN THE REMAINING PIECES, AND FINALLY THROW YOUR ASHES INTO A RIVER!"

"Now, now, my dear boy," the cat said, "I've been meaning to talk with you about that." His stupid grin faded and a guilty look replaced it. "I'm … sorry about all that. I wasn't trying to get you killed. I was just poking fun at the Red Queen. I didn't mean for it to go that far."

I still would've destroyed him, but he sounded sincere. I allowed Alice to put me down.

"Whatever," I muttered.

"What did that to you?" the cat asked, returning back to the conversation before my murderous outburst.

"Dunno," Alice said, looking at her damaged arm. "Bander … uh …."

"The Bandersnatch?" The cat disappeared, but then his head reappeared next to her. "Well, I'd better have a look."

"What are you doing?" Alice began backing away cautiously. I started reaching into my pocket to pull out my switchblade.

"It needs to be purified by someone with evaporating skills, or it will fester and putrefy?" As he said this, the rest of his body appeared

Yay. More words that I'd no idea what they meant. "It'll do what in where now?" I asked.

"It'll get infected," Alice explained.

"Oh! …. Why didn't you just say _that_?" I grumbled.

"I'd rather you didn't," Alice said to the cat. "I'll be fine as soon as I wake up." It was a good thing that Alice knew about stranger danger. Then again, this guy wasn't really a stranger, since we'd met him before. Oh well.

The cat disappeared again, and then reappeared behind us.

"At least let me bind it for you," he said, pulling out a handkerchief from who knows where. He tied it around Alice's wound. And that pure act of selflessness was enough for me to let go of my deadly grudge for the feline, but I still didn't like him. "What do you call yourselves?"

"Name's Pinocchio," I quickly chimed in. It was about time people around here started recognizing me.

"Alice," she put in.

"_The_ Alice," he said, his huge grin appearing again.

"There's been some debate about that," Alice said. I rolled my eyes.

"I never get involved in politics." He disappeared and reappeared again behind us. "You both best be on your ways." He began floating away.

"What way?" Alice asked annoyed. "All we want to do is wake up from this dream!"

"Fine. I'll take you both to the Hare and the Hatter. But that's the end of it."

He disappeared again. We expected him to reappear somewhere near us, but nothing.

"Coming?" came his voice from far away. We turned around and saw that he was further up the path. And with that, we followed him.

* * *

We finally reached the March Hare's house at dawn. I have to admit, I thought _Grave of the Fireflies_ was sad, but when I saw the state of how their tea party had turned out, that reached a whole new level of depressing. As we approached, everybody at the table was waking up. I saw that the Dormouse was there (must've been able to escape from the Bandersnatch). The March Hare didn't look too different from last time, except that his fur was now gray (hair dye most likely) and looked very ruffled. And at the end of the table was the Mad Hatter. As we got closer, we saw that he'd gotten up from his chair and started walking across the table. Never thought he'd be _that_ excited to see us. The last time we saw him, he was the world's biggest doofus. When he came to greet us, I was finally able to get a good look at him: his clothes were completely different, his hair was now red instead of gray, he looked younger than before, and his face was painted white like the Joker's, except he didn't have scars. I don't know _what_ this guy had done to completely change his look, but then again, I didn't care.

"It's you both," he said in a delighted voice. Still had that lisp, I noticed.

"No it's not," the Mouse said. "McTwisp brought us the wrong Alice." This "McTwisp" fellow must've been the White Rabbit. At least now we knew his name.

"IT'S THE WRONG ALICE!?" the March Hare screeched, pulling his ears painfully down. His personality seemed to have changed as well. Didn't seem so cool and collective as last time, but I couldn't blame him for the sudden change in attitude. This world being turned into a total dump would've changed anybody, and by anybody I mean _every_body.

"It's absolutely Alice," the Mad Hatter said, shaking his head at the Mouse's statement. "You're absolutely Alice! I'd know you anywhere." He turned back to the others. "I'd know him anywhere!"

I sniggered at Alice being referred to as a dude.

The Mad Hatter took Alice by the hand and led her along the table, her feet barely touching. I leapt up onto the table and followed.

"Well, as you both can see, we're still having tea," he explained. "And it's all because I was obliged to kill Time waiting for your return. You both are terribly late, you know … naughty." He set up a chair for us. "Well anyway, Time became quite offended and stopped altogether. Not a tick ever since." It sounded as though he was referring to Time as an actual person, but I didn't know what _that_ meant, so oh well.

"Time can be funny in dreams," Alice said as we sat down.

"Yes, yes, of course. But now you both are back, you see, and we need to get on to the Frabjous Day!"

"FRABJOUS DAY!" everyone cheered.

"I've been investigating this that begin with the letter 'M'," he went on.

"That's nice," I said nervously as he leaned over to us.

"Have you both any idea why a raven is like a writing desk?" he asked.

_Oh no,_ I thought, groaning a little. _Not_ that_ riddle again. _

"DOWN WITH THE BLOODY BIG HEAD!" everyone yelled.

"What?" Alice asked.

"'Down with the Bloody Big Head'," the Cheshire Cat explained. I forgot he was here. "'Bloody Big Head' being the Red Queen." Must've been some sort of resistance slogan or something.

"Come, come. We simply must commence with the slaying and such," the Mad Hatter went on. "And, therefore, it is high time for Time to forgive and forget! Or forget and forgive, whichever comes first. Or is in any case most convenient. I'm waiting." He pulled out a pocket watch and looked at it.

"It's ti-it's ticking again," the March Hare said, pulling out his own pocket watch from a teapot. The Mad Hatter smiled at this.

"All this talk of blood and slaying has put me off my tea," the Cheshire Cat said, pushing his teacup away.

"Well," the Mad Hatter went on. "Our entire world is falling to ruin, and poor Cheshire's off his tea." He suddenly didn't sound so happy about this.

"What happened that day was not my fault."

The Mad Hatter's eyes suddenly went from green to bright orange and there were dark shadows forming underneath his eyes. Cat must've triggered him.

"Oh dear," the Hare said softly, leaning cautiously into his cup.

The Mad Hatter got up and started walking dangerously over to the cat.

"You ran out on them to save you own skin!" he said in a deadly voice. "You _guddler's scuttish pilgar lickering shukem juggling slunking ur-pals_. BAR LOM MUCK EGG BRIMNI-"

"HATTER!" the Mouse yelled.

The Hatter's expression completely changed back to normal in a second. "Thank you," he said in a strained voice. "I'm fine."

"What's wrong with you, Tarrant?" the Cat asked. "You used to be the life of the party. You used to do the best _Futterwacken _in all of Witzend."

"Futter …? What?" Alice asked.

"Fut-say-what?" I said.

"_Futterwacken!_" the March Hare said delighted.

"It's a dance," the Dormouse explained.

The March Hare tired to do an attempted dance.

"On the Frabjous Day, when the White Queen once again wears the crown," the Hatter announced. "On _that_ day, I shall _Futterwacken_ … _vigorously._"

That either sounded really good or really painful.

The Dormouse and the Hare laughed at this, but then there was the sound of a horse neighing from far away.

"Oh no," the Hare said, jumping on the table and hiding behind the Cheshire Cat.

"Uh oh," he said.

"The Knave," the Mouse whispered.

"Goodbye," the Cat said, vanishing. The March Hare jumped back into his seat.

"Drink this quickly," the Hatter said, forcing some liquid down both of our throats. It took me a moment to realize that it was the potion that made us shrink. And in next to no time, we were now six inches tall, and Alice's makeshift dress was now too big for her.

The Hatter grabbed us and stuffed us into a teapot. "Mind your heads," he said as he put us in. He placed the lid of the pot on.

Alice stood up and started banging on the lid.

"Let us out!" she called.

"Shh," I said. "I think he put us in here for a reason, so _shut up_."

Alice gave me a reproachful look, but nonetheless, she kept her mouth shut.

I couldn't hear exactly all that was going on outside because it was all muffled. But I first heard some conversation, then what sounded like singing, and then … sniffing? And then … growling? We then heard the Hatter putting his finger in the spout. He whispered something incomprehensible and then the growling stopped. Then there was some more talking and then barking. And then the extra voices left.

"Wonder what's going on?" Alice questioned.

"Someone probably wants you," I guessed.

Alice began trying to rearrange her dress while I looked away. The teapot lid lifted up, but then immediately closed.

"Pardon," the Hatter said. He reached inside and pulled out a piece of ribbon from Alice's dress. "One moment." A few seconds later, he reopened the lid. "Try this on for size." I saw that he'd made a new dress for Alice, and it actually looked pretty nice. I looked away as Alice put it on.

"You can look now," she said. I turned around and saw the dress on her.

"Nice," I said, giving her a thumbs up.

Alice knocked on the side of the teapot. The Hatter lifted the lid and pulled us both out.

"Eh … I like it," he said.

"Good thing the bloodhound is one of us, or you'd be …." the Dormouse said, drawing her finger across her throat. I was about to say something from _Guardians of the Galaxy, _but I decided to keep my mouth shut.

"What do they want with me?" Alice asked.

"Best take them to the White Queen," the Hare suggested. "They'll be safe there …. Spoon …." He looked intently at the spoon. I couldn't help but giggle. My guess was that this "White Queen" lady must've been the good queen of this world.

The Hatter took off his hat and put it beside us.

"Your carriage, my friends," he said in a gentlemanly voice.

"The hat?" Alice said confused.

"Of course. Anyone can go by horse or rail. But the absolute _best_ way to travel is by hat. Have I made a rhyme?"

"No," I said flatly, then turned back to the hat. "Well, I'm all for it." I clambered onto the hat, patting next to me for Alice to come and sit. She looked uncertain, at first, but then walked over and sat beside me.

"Oh, I _love_ travelling by hat," the Dormouse said, walking over.

"Mally," the Hatter said. "Just Alice and Pinocchio, please. _Fairfarren_, all."

I guessed that meant "farewell". He got up and we were on our way.

* * *

_**Author's Note:**_

_**Hey everyone. Here's the next chapter. Remember to please leave a review and I don't own anything. Enjoy.**_


	5. Chapter 4- Sad Backstories

Chapter 4- Sad Backstories

We'd traveled in silence all day through the forest, of course, making a few bathroom and lunch stops along the way. Finally, Hatter broke the quiet.

_Twas brillig, and the slithy toves_

_Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;_

_All mimsy were the borogroves, _

_And the mome raths outgrabe …._

"Sorry," Alice said as we both jumped off the hat and onto his shoulder. "What was that?"

"What was what?" Hatter said. Great. Now he was playing the denial game. He continued on with his spiel.

_The Jabberwock with eyes of flame._

_The jaws that bite._

_The claws that catch._

_Beware of the Jabberwock, my son,_

_And the Frumious Bandersnatch._

_He took his Vorpal Sword in hand. _

_The Vorpal blade went snicker-snack_

_He left if dead, and with its head, He went galumping back …._

It sounded as though he was reciting a prophecy. He turned back to us.

"It's all about _you_, you know," he said, looking intently at Alice.

"I'm not slaying anything," Alice said with a hint of irritation in her voice. "I don't slay, so put it out of your mind."

The Hatter stopped.

"M-Mind?" he said. Alice must've touched a nerve because he plucked us off his shoulder and put us on a nearby stump. He began to walk away.

"Wait!" Alice called. "You can't leave us here!"

"Yeah, what the frick, man!" I yelled.

Hatter stopped and turned around.

"You don't slay," he said. "Do you have any idea what the Red Queen has done? You don't slay."

Alice must've ticked him off by saying that.

"I couldn't if I wanted to," she protested. I slapped my face. This was going nowhere.

"You're not the same as you were before," Hatter said, walking over and stooping down to us. "You were much more … muchier. You've lost your muchness."

"My muchness?"

"In there." He pointed at Alice's heart. "Something's missing."

I could sort of see what he meant. Over the years, I had noticed that Alice had lost her toughness. When I first met her, one would almost consider her a tomboy. But now, that seemed to have gone away. Which didn't make sense. I would see that spark come up sometimes when she was a Lugia. It must've been her in human form that she felt out of place.

"Tell us what Red Queen has done," she said.

Hatter stopped for a few seconds.

"It's not a pretty story," he eventually managed to say.

"Tell us anyway." I had to admit, even _I _was curious to hear about what this lady that everyone appeared to hate had done.

Hatter looked around. We followed his gaze and eventually saw what he was looking at: we were right in the middle of what must've once been a village, but now it was nothing but burnt wood and rubble.

"It was here," he said, talking as if old ghost were coming back to him. "I was Hatter to the White Queen at the time. Hightopp clan have always been employed at court."

"Hightopp clan?" I said confused.

"My family," he went on. "It was Easter Day. We were all celebrating and having a good time. Everyone in this village was there, as was the White Queen. For a moment, we were all happy, and it felt like nothing in the world could go wrong. And then … _it_ came."

"The Jabberwocky?"

Hatter nodded. "It all happened so fast. Everyone was running and everything was on fire. I managed to get the White Queen to safety, but she had lost her crown. The White Knight, chosen by her to protect us all, stepped up to kill the beast, … but then … just like that, he was killed. Burnt to a crisp. He lost the Vorpal Sword, which was then picked up by the Knave of Hearts, head knight to the Red Queen. Blastoise and his Wartortle and Squirtle-"

"Wait, wait wait," I interrupted. "Blastoise?"

"He's the Underland fire chief," Hatter explained.

Never in my life had I heard anything so AMAZING. "_That's awesome_!" I said in a hoarse voice full of awe.

"Anyway," Hatter went on, "Blastoise and his fire squad did their best to put out the fire, but he said the damage had been done …. So many lives were lost that day … including …."

Hatter trailed off, a far off look glowing in his eyes.

"Hatter!" Alice called. "Hatter!"

Hatter snapped back to the present.

"I'm fine," he said quickly.

"Are you?" Alice asked concerned.

Suddenly, a dog's barking came from somewhere.

"Did you both hear that?" Hatter asked. "I was certain I heard something."

"What?" Alice asked. She clearly wasn't able to hear what _I_ just heard, which didn't make any sense at all.

"Ooh. Red Knights!" Hatter cried.

Hatter picked us up and started running through the forest, the barking getting closer, and along with it, numerous footsteps. Hatter hid behind a tree for a few seconds and took off again. He soon stopped for a second time. In front of us lay a small pond with a tree on the other side. Hatter looked to his left and saw the Red Knights were closing in on us. He took off his hat and put us on it.

"Go south to Trotter's Bottom," he hissed to us as we clung onto the ribbon that was tied around his hat. "The White Queen's castle's just beyond. Hold on tightly."

He threw his hat like a discus, sending us flying over the pond and we landed by the tree. As the hat tumbled to the ground, we fell off. Alice and I quickly got up and ran over to see how Hatter was fairing. The Red Knights had surrounded him, and as he was bowing to them in a sassily manner, they took him away.

Alice and I stood in silence for a few seconds, taking in all that had just happened. Alice eventually turned around and slipped under the hat. I noticed that dusk had fallen, so I decided to follow her lead and camp out under the hat for the night. At least, we would be safe in there.

Alice and I laid down next to each other. I rolled onto my side and tried to get some sleep, but it never came.

"Alice," I hissed, "you asleep?"

"No," she answered.

I sighed. "So … what are we going to do now?"

"I don't know. There's now way we can _walk_ all the way to the White Queen's castle."

"Then why don't you turn into-"

"_No_!"

I was shocked at how firmly Alice had answered. I guess we weren't going to play that card.

"Hey, Alice?" I continued.

"What?"

"You know all that stuff Hatter said about you losing your 'muchness'? Well, I think he's right. I mean, yeah, I know this dream's wearing you out, but what happened to you. I seems like only yesterday you were beating the crap out of those Pokemon hunters. And now you won't do something as simple as slaying a giant-"

"I just want to wake up!" she said, and I could sense that she was getting upset.

"We already tried that," I pointed out.

"Well then, we both must be in a deep sleep."

That didn't make any sense, but I decided not to press any further.

Neither of us spoke for a while after that. Then after what seemed like an hour, I rolled onto my back and finally voiced what I wanted to say since the night before: "Alice, I've decided that this place isn't as bad as I thought it was. The people here have started treating us considerably, and it sounds like they really do need out help."

Silence. She must've fallen asleep. I rolled onto my side again and let sleep take over my body.

* * *

_**Author's Note:**_

**_Hey everybody. Sorry it's been a while since I've uploaded. I was on vacation in at Disney and Universal. Now that I'm back, I'm going to do my best to upload more frequently. It may be a while until I upload the next chapter because it's gonna be long and school will be starting for me again soon. But I'll try my hardest. Enjoy and please remember to leave a review. _**


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5- Having Fun Storming the Red Queen's Castle

The next morning we were woken up by some loud sniffing. Looking up, I saw a big nose which tipped over the hat. It was a giant dog. It must've been the bloodhound that Mally had mentioned.

"You were suppose to lead them away!" Alice said, and I could tell she was peed off. For once, she wasn't yelling at me. "The Hatter trusted you!"

"They have my wife and pups," the dog said. I suppose that was a valid reason.

"What's your name?" Alice asked.

"Bayard."

"Sit!" she commanded, and he obeyed. I was about to tell him to start scooting, but I knew Alice would get angry with me if I did.

"Would your names be Alice and Pinocchio, by any chance?" Bayard asked.

"Yes, but I'm not the 'Alice' that everyone's talking about," Alice said. I rolled my eyes.

"The Hatter would not have given himself up just for _any_ Alice."

Thank _gosh_ that this dog wasn't jumping to the conclusion that Alice was a fraud like everyone else.

"Where did they take him?"

"To the Red Queen's castle at Salazen Grum."

"We're going to rescue him."

"That is not foretold."

"I don't care!" Yeah, now Alice was getting _real_ ticked. "He wouldn't be there if it weren't for me."

"The Frabjous Day is almost upon us. You must prepare to meet the Jabberwocky."

"From the moment we fell down that rabbit hole, I've been told what I must do and who I must be! We've been shrunk, stretched, _I've_ been scratched, and we were both stuffed into a teapot. I've been accused of being Alice and of not being Alice, but this is_ my_ dream! _I'll_ decide where it goes from here."

_There_ was the old Alice I knew, and all it took was to get her triggered enough to have her realize that. I did that to her all the time.

"If you diverge from the path -" Bayard began, but then Alice interrupted.

"_I _make the path!"

Bayard laid down to let us clamber onto his back.

"Take us to Salazen Grum, Bayard," Alice ordered. "And don't forget the hat."

I was about to make a _Princess Bride_ reference, but then Bayard took off.

Throwing my arms around Alice's waist, I held on as tightly as I could, knowing that if Alice fell off, I would go down with her.

The forest soon gave out into a desert. Not a desert like the Painted Desert that was both pretty and made you feel like a man if you went out and stood in it for a while; _this_ desert was a total barren wasteland. Barely a living thing in sight.

As we crossed the first hill in miles, a huge castle appeared. The red roofs of the towers and the hearts carved into the side of the walls would make sense as to why the red queen would live there.

As we neared the castle, Bayard slunked off to the side and stopped in front of the moat.

"There's only one way across," he said, setting down the hat and letting us off.

As we neared the moat, I soon saw what he meant. Most moats would have crocodiles in them, but this one … had _heads_. It actually made perfect sense, concerning the Red Queen. It kinda reminded me of the Dead Marshes scene in _Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers_.

An idea then popped into my mind.

"Hey Alice," I whispered. "Do you think you could … uh …."

"_No_," Alice said, as if she already knew what I was referring to. So the whole Lugia thing was out. We were just going to have to cross the old fashioned way.

"Lost my muchness, have I?" Alice said to herself.

We began jumping from head to head. It would've been disgusting, but I'd seen enough movies for this not to have grossed me out. Halfway across, Alice had gotten her foot stuck in some guy's mouth. I chuckled at her expense, but she then gave me a warning look, forcing me to apologize. We were soon able to make it to the other side. Now all we had to do was try to find a way to get _inside_.

It wasn't long until we spotted a crack in the wall that was the perfect size for us to get in.

"Bayard! The hat!" Alice called back to the dog.

Bayard picked up the hat with his teeth. After circling around one time, he threw it over the wall like it was a discus.

We then crawled into the crack.

On the other side was a huge garden. Alice and I walked up to the stem of a bush and peaked around to the other side.

There stood someone who would have only been the Red Queen. And like everyone else here, she had changed a lot, too. I'm guessing all the fatness that she had before must've literally gone to her head, because now she was a stick, but had a head the size of an ostrich egg. She also must've dyed her hair red, let it grow, and had it cut in the shape of a heart. But her smug attitude didn't seem to have changed, and I'm guessing that would've included her crazy temper.

Like before, she was playing croquet with a hedgehog and a flamingo, but this time, she was surrounded by her courtiers who all had similar maladies to the Queen's. One had a big nose, one had, like, _three_ chins, another had huge ears, and one was … well ...fat. That one was more sad than fitting.

_WHACK!_

I almost didn't notice the hedgehog come flying in the air right towards us. Alice and I quickly ran over to it. Alice began trying to untie the poor guy.

"Shh," she said. "I want to help you."

After we freed him, there was a rustling behind us. It was Mctwisp.

"Well, if it isn't the _wrong_ Alice," he said. "What brings you both here? Hmm?"

"We've come to rescue the Hatter," Alice explained.

"You both aren't rescuing anyone being the size of gerbils."

He had a point.

"Would you have any of that cake that made me grow before?" Alice asked.

"Upelkuchen? Actually, I might have some left." He reached into his pocket, pulled out the cake, and handed it to Alice.

I then remembered something: Back when Alice and I had first come here, she had tried to grow back to her normal size by eating a mushroom. She was able to restore her height by licking it.

I then had a lightbulb moment.

I quickly took a big lick on the side of the cake. Immediately, I grew back to my normal size. Or at least, it felt normal.

"Well, that worked," I said to myself.

"You're so disgusting!" I heard Alice yell at me. She turned the cake away from where I had licked and began stuffing the whole thing in her mouth.

"Not all of it!" Mctwisp cried.

Too late! Alice began growing rapidly until she was much taller than she normally was. Oh, and her clothes ripped off. I quickly averted my eyes.

"PAGE!" I heard someone scream. Most likely the Red Queen.

"Oh dear," Mctwisp muttered, running back through the bushes.

"Nice work, stupid," I muttered to Alice.

"Shut up," she hissed.

"And WHAT is _this_?" I heard the Red Queen yell. Alice's head must've been sticking over the rose bush.

"It's a 'who', Majesty," Mctwisp said. "This is … um …." It seemed like he couldn't think of a fake name for Alice.

"Um?" the Queen echoed. That would have to do.

"From Umbrage," Alice added quickly.

Realizing I had no choice, I stepped through the rose bush into plain sight where everyone could see me.

"And I'm …" I had to think of a name quick. Then it hit me. "San …. From … San Diego? Um and I are friends."

Something in me told me that she might recognize me. I waited for the blow, but the Red Queen seem to have bought it. I guess I had such a vague impact on her that she didn't seem to remember me at all. She turned back to Alice.

"What happened to your clothes?" she asked.

"I outgrew them," Alice said. "I've been growing an awful lot lately. I tower over everyone in Umbrage …. They laugh at me. San is the only person who's stood by me. So we've come to you, hoping you might understand what it's like."

"My dear girl. Anyone with a head that large is welcomed in my court. And your is welcomed to join, too."

"Phew," I said, wiping the sweat off my forehead.

"SOMEONE FIND HER SOME CLOTHES!" the Queen ordered loudly. "USE THE CURTAINS IF YOU MUST, BUT CLOTH THIS ENORMOUS GIRL!"

* * *

After getting Alice into some clothes (thank gosh), the Red Queen took us to her throne room. Like everything else in this castle, it was overly expanded and stupid looking. The Red Queen walked up to her throne and sat down, us following in tow. It was then that I noticed that the throne had no legs, but was supported by four monkeys. I guessed that the Queen didn't have enough budget to afford a proper throne. Or she was just doing it to torute the monkeys for fun.

"I need a pig here!" she called.

A random pig came running out from the side, flipped over on its back, and let the Red Queen put her feet on his stomach.

"I love a warm pig belly for my aching feet," she said contentedly.

"That's … nice," I said slightly weirded out.

"Would you both like one?" she asked.

I shook my head.

"No, thank you," Alice said.

"Sit," the Queen ordered.

Alice looked down at the chair and spotted the monkeys holding it up. She looked just as weirded out as I did.

"SIT!" the Queen said again, louder and more demanding this time.

Alice sat down.

"Sorry we couldn't find a chair for you, San," she said to me.

"That's fine," I said honestly. "I got this."

I sat down like a dog in between Alice and the Queen.

"Go away!" she said to her courtiers, who then left the room. "Where are my Fatboys?" she went on. "You both must meet them. FATBOYS!"

I swore I was going to be _deaf_ by the end of the day if she kept yelling in my ear.

Two boys walked into the room. It took me a second to realize that they were the Tweedles. It seemed obvious that that bird had taken them here. At least they were unharmed.

"Ah, there they are," the Queen said. "Aren't they adorable? They have the oddest way of speaking. Speak, boys! Amuse us!"

The Tweedles' eyes fell upon me and Alice. I lifted my hand up to my throat and started shaking it back and forth to make sure that they would keep their mouths shut.

"SPEAK!" the Queen ordered.

"Is that being …?" Tweedledee said.

"No, no, it isn't," Tweedledum chimed in, apparently getting the message. "Not a bit. No."

"Contrariwise, I believe it's so," Tweedledee went on.

"Shut UP!" I mouthed at them.

"No, it _ain't_ so," Tweedledum said through gritted teeth. "No-how!" He stomped on his brother's foot and they both elbowed each other.

The Red Queen laughed weirdly. "I love my Fatboys," she said happily. "Now, get out." _That_ was a quick sudden change of attitude.

I pointed for them to get out, and after a few seconds, they did.

After that, someone else came into the room. He was dressed in armor except for his head. He was pale, had long, black hair, a black eyepatch in the shape of a heart, and a huge scar on his face. He kinda looked like Grima Wormtounge from the_ Lord of the Rings_. He must've been the Knave guy that Mally had mentioned. He leaned down to kiss the Red Queen's outstretched hand. I had a feeling he had to do that a lot.

After two seconds, I heard him say, "And, er, who is this lovely creature?"

Holy_ crap_; he was talking about Alice. I thought I was going to be sick. Not as sick as I felt whenever I was around Hamish, though.

"Um, my new favorite," the Queen answered. "And this is her friend, San." She gestured down to me.

"Does the girl have a name?" the Knave asked.

"Um."

"I believe your name has slipped the Queen's mind."

"Her name is _Um_. IDIOT!" the Queen screamed. I sniggered.

"From Umbrage," Alice said.

"And I'm from San Diego," I chimed in.

"Any luck with the prisoner?" the Queen asked.

"He's stubborn," he grumbled, pulling off his gloves.

"You're too soft," the Queen cooed at him. "BRING HIM!"

The doors of the throne room opened and in came Hatter with a bunch of guards behind him. His hands and feet were chained together, but other than that, he looked okay. He sank to his knees and looked at me and Alice sadly.

"We know Alice has returned to Underland," the Queen said. "Do you know where she is?"

Hatter didn't say anything at first, but then started to ramble. "I've been considering things that begin with the letter _M_: moron, mutiny, murder, mmm … malice." I sniggered at the "moron" part.

"We're looking for an _A_ word now," the Queen said, clearly starting to get annoyed. I giggled immaturely at the "_A_ word" thing. "Where is ALICE!"

"That wee little boy?" I began to snigger so much that I had to stuff my whole fist in my mouth. "I wouldn't know."

"What if I took off your head, WILL YOU KNOW THEN!"

Hatter started laughing, but then the Queen told him to quit.

"What a regrettably large head you have," Hatter said, clearly either wanting to change the subject or try to get on the Queen's good side. "I would very much like to hat it."

"Hat it?" the Queen said, clearly becoming interested.

"Yes. I use to hat the White Queen, you know." Hatter stood up, prompting the guards behind him to raise their spears. "Wasn't very much to work with. Poor dear. Her head is so small."

"It's tiny. It's a pebble of a head."

"A bit." He began to approach the Queen. "What I could do with this monument. This … orb. Nay, this magnificently heroic globe!"

I began thinking of the Big Head Boy part from the third _Harry Potter _book. I had to plug my nose to stop laughing.

"What could you do?" the Queen said after a few seconds of thinking.

Hatter held out his chained hands.

"Unbind him, Stayne," the Queen ordered. Stayne looked otherwise at this command, but then the Queen yelled, "How can he work if his hands are bound!"

Hatter looked gingerly at him. Stayne reluctantly unsheathed his sword and cut Hatter's chains with a quick _whoosh_ of his sword.

"Well then," Hatter said, beginning to to circle around the Queen, "shall it be a bonnet or a boater, or something for the boudoir? Cloche, dunce hat, death cap, coif, snood, barboosh, pugree …" Oh no; he was going off again. "Yarmulke, cockle-hat, porkpie, tam-o'-shanter, billycock, bicorn, tricorn, bandeau, bongrace, fan-tail, nightcap, garibaldi, fez …."

"Hatter!" Alice quietly hissed. That seemed to stop him.

The Queen said nothing for a moment, but then commanded for her guards to leave. She then smiled at Hatter.

At least Hatter would be safe while being stuck here.

* * *

After _finally _getting away from the Queen, we went back to the garden and began searching for the hat.

It wasn't long until we ran into our hedgehog friend again. He certainly looked glad to finally be free from being a croquet ball.

Once we caught sight of him, Alice leaned down to him.

"Have you seen the hat around here?" she asked him.

He pointed off to the side, where the hat was on the ground, hidden in the shade.

Alice went over, picked it up, and brushed it off gingerly.

* * *

Later on that night, we found Hatter alone in a room working on hats. And I had to say, the man had some talent because from what I observed as I drank from my Gatorade, these were some pretty cool looking hats.

"They're wonderful," Alice said, putting Hatter's hat down next to him. "You must let us try some on."

"You're just like my Aunt Sally," I said. "She could sew anything and make any type of clothing."

"It is good to be working at my trade again," Hatter said. He did seem to be very happy with this.

"It's just a pity you have to make them for _her_," Alice said.

"Yeah, that's gotta suck," I agreed.

Hatter then stopped, a look of shock overcoming his face. "What is the hatter with me?" he whispered to himself.

Then, without warning, he flew into a rage, knocking stuff over and ripping fabric to pieces.

Alice and I backed into a corner to avoid getting punched in the face.

He tried to reach for a manican in the corner, but I then noticed that his feet were chained to the table.

"Hatter!" Alice yelled, jumping towards him and taking his face into her hands so that he could look directly at her.

"Have you any idea why a raven is like a writing desk?" he whimpered. "Alice, I need your help. I don't like it here; it's terribly crowded." He was silent for a moment and I could see tears forming in his eyes. "Have I gone mad?"

Alice put her had to Hatter's forehead and I felt my heart swell.

"I'm afraid so," she said. "You're entirely bonkers. But I'll tell you a secret … all the best people are."

Hatter didn't say anything, but then a smile broke across his face and he wiped his eyes.

Alice grabbed the hat and put it on his head. "That's better," she said. "You look yourself again."

Smiling, I gave him a thumbs up, but then the moment was interrupted by the Red Queen's screaming.

"HAT MAN! WHERE ARE MY HAT! I'M NOT A PATIENT WOMAN!"

"I'm told she keeps the Vorpal Sword hidden in the castle," Hatter whispered, seeming to have finally pulled himself together. "You both must find it. Take it to the White Queen."

"We'll go the the White Queen together," Alice said strongly.

"Why is it you both are always too small or too tall?" Hatter asked, smiling.

* * *

Rushing out of Hatter's room, Alice and I began walking down different corridors to find some help. It wasn't long until we spotted the Tweedles.

"Tweedles!" Alice said joyously as we walked up to them.

"Alice! Pinocchio!" they cried in unison.

"How do you both do again," Tweedledum said.

"Where's the rabbit?" Alice asked.

"How is it you both have been so great big?" Tweedledee asked.

"They ain't great big," the other said. "This is how they normally are."

"I was certain they were smaller when we met."

"No, they drank the pishsalver to get through the door. Recall it?"

"Oh yeah."

"Where's the rabbit?" Alice asked, and I could sense she was getting impatient.

"Over there's," they said together, but they pointed in opposite directions.

I slapped my face. We were kinda doomed.

* * *

After running down different corridors like chickens with their heads cut off, we _finally_ found Mctwisp …. Oh, and Mally was there, too. While we were wandering around, I saw something that made my heart skip a beat: it was a Luxio, the Spark Pokemon, carrying a platter with a champagne bottle on it. It seemed to be in quite a rush and looked stressed out. But what really disturbed me the most was that it had strange looking scars on its back. I didn't have time to fathom why that was because I had to keep up with the others.

"What are you two doing here?" Mally asked bitterly as we approached.

"We're rescuing the Hatter," Alice explained.

"_I'm_ rescuing the Hatter!" the Dormouse shot back.

"He told us that the Vorpal Sword is hidden in the castle. Please help us find it."

Mally drew her needle sword. "I don't take orders from big, clumsy, galumphing-"

"Shoo!" Alice ordered sternly, waving her arm at the mouse.

Mally didn't obey at first, but after seeing me pop my knuckles and neck, she trudged off grumpily.

It was then we noticed that the Rabbit looked as though he knew something important.

"What is it, Mctwisp?" Alice asked, leaning down towards him.

"I-I know where the sword is," he said timidly.

"Great!" I said with delight. "Where is it?"

* * *

Mctwisp led us out to the courtyard.

On our way, I heard a cry of pain coming from off to the right. Curious, I followed the sound.

"Not that way, Pinocchio!" Mctwisp cried, but I wasn't listening.

Turning a corner on the threshold of the bridge to the castle, my entire body froze from what I saw.

Off in the distance, I saw a bunch of Pokemon who appeared to be doing construction work. However, they seemed to be doing it against their will because I then noticed a Machop, the Superpower Pokemon, being whipped by one of the Red Queen's guards.

I could only stand and stare in horror.

"Mctwisp," I stuttered as he and Alice approached. "What is that?"

Alice gasped.

"Those are the Red Queen's Pokemon slaves," he explained. "Over the years, she's kidnapped many of them from the forest and brought them here, where she makes them work to expand her empire. And those who rebel against her … well ..."

I looked down at the moat and saw a Pichu's head appear from under the drawbridge.

I felt as though all movement had left my body. How could she do a thing like this! Pokemon weren't meant to be made into slaves and killed if they stood up for themselves. They were meant to run freely and bond with people who were willing to take care of them.

"Come on, Pinocchio," Alice said, taking me by the shoulder and leading me back into the courtyard. "I can't watch any more of this."

Pulling myself together, I refocused on the task at hand.

Mctwisp led us over to a small, dilapidated shed in the middle of the courtyard.

"The sword's hidden inside," he whispered, pointing. "Be careful, you two."

Alice and I began to approach it. As we did, a horrid, yet familiar, stink whisked up my nose and almost made me gag.

"I know that smell," Alice said.

"Yeah," I said in disgust. "Same here."

Alice and I looked through a peephole in the door, and saw something that almost made me swear. It was the Bandersnatch. He was asleep, but lying next to him was the skeleton of a creature that I didn't want to know, at the moment.

We backed away.

"We're not going in there," Alice cried.

Mctwisp looked confused.

"Look what that thing did to my arm." Alice pulled down the bandage on her arm to show her wound, which was now red and swollen.

"Dear, oh dear," Mctwisp fretted. "Why haven't either of you mentioned this."

"It wasn't this bad before," Alice said to herself.

Mctwisp began breathing rapidly … and then fainted.

"Great. Now what are we going to do?" I asked. "Cause I'm not going in there and throwing down with _that_ thing." I pointed at the shed with my thumb. "It'll eat me in one bite."

Alice looked as though she'd gotten an idea.

"Come on," she said, grabbing me by the wrist and leading me back into the castle.

* * *

After, _once again_, doing _another_ trek around the castle, I finally found out what Alice was looking for. Upon seeing Mally, Alice hurried toward her with me following. She was looking into another room, obviously looking for the Hatter.

"Mallymkun," Alice said as we approached her. "Do you still have the Bandersnatch eye?"

"Right here," she said, holding it up.

"We need it," Alice said.

"Come and get it!" Mally pulled out her needle sword and started waving it around.

I don't know if she was trying to be Link or something, but Alice was able to easily get the eye away from her.

"Hey! Give it back!" we heard her yell as we walked away.

We began to make our way out of the castle again. As we did, though, I felt a prickling sensation that someone was following us. I turned around slightly and saw that it was Stayne. Alice and I seemed to have the same thought not to draw any attention to him. But just as Alice was sneaking the eye behind her back, Stayne pushed her against the wall.

"I like you, Um," he said in a freaky whisper. "I like largeness."

He began leaning into kiss Alice. Acting quickly, I ran over and kicked him as hard as I could in the nads. He held onto his crotch, giving out a groan of pain.

"Take that, freak," I whispered into his ear.

"Get away from me," Alice seethed, pushing him away.

We both ran down the hallway, doing our best to get away from Stayne ASAP. I only turned around once to blow a raspberry at him, but I saw that he looked pretty mad at having been rejected.

* * *

Once we made it back out to the courtyard, we headed straight for the Bandersnatch's dog house. Alice opened the door, and we stepped inside, ignoring the unimaginable stench.

He woke up and started growling at us. He must've recognized us on the spot.

"I have your eye," Alice said, holding out the eye. She put it on the floor and rolled it over to him. He caught it with his paw and then gave us a look as if telling us to get lost.

Something then caught mine and Alice's eyes. There was something rectangular in the back of the Bandersnatch's house that was covered in a red tarp. With the dog-thind distracted, we stealthily made our way over to it.

Pulling the tarp off, we saw that it hid a big metal chest. Unfortunately, it had a big lock on it. Alice tried pulling at it, but it wouldn't budge.

"I got it," I said, ready to fire up my lazer eyes.

"Uh, no," Alice said, putting her arm out in front of me.

"Well then why don't you use a Pokemon move," I hissed, starting to lose patience.

"Because I don't want us making a lot of noise," she hissed back.

The Bandersnatch started growling at us again. He must've gotten done messing around with his eye and saw what we were doing.

Alice yanked at the lock a couple more times before collapsing. Pulling off the ribbon that covered her wound, it looked as bad as ever.

We heard the Bandersnatch give a soft moan, as if he suddenly realized what he'd done.

I saw Alice's eyes begin to droop. It wasn't long until she drifted off to sleep. With nothing else to do, I decided to follow her lead. Lying down on the straw-covered floor, I looked up at the Bandersnatch and said in a warning voice, "You'd better not eat us while we're asleep." Then I, too, became comatose.

* * *

Morning came faster than expected. When Alice and I woke up, the first thing we saw was the Bandersnatch, but he was looking at us with concern, pity and guilt.

Then, something caught both of our eyes. Around the Bandersnatch's neck was a chain with a key on it. We looked at each other and then back at the key. Alice began reaching out for it, but then the Bandersnatch made a gurgling sound. Alice recoiled, but after he did nothing, Alice was able to get the key.

The Bandersnatch stepped back, looked at Alice's arm and then to her. It leaned forward and started licking at her wound. The swelling soon went down and it stopped being red. All that was left was just some scars. We looked at the Bandersnatch, who attempted to smile.

"I suppose this makes us even now," Alice said.

The Bandersnatch huffed three times in agreement.

Slowly, I reached out my hand and patted him on the head. He seemed to enjoy it. "Good boy," I said. "Thank you."

We turned back to the chest. Alice put the key in the lock and it opened. Inside was what I guessed was the Vorpal Sword. It looked like it was made of some shiny silver and had an ornate handle. When Alice lifted it up, we saw that there were some runes engraved on the blade, though I couldn't read it. I then hummed the "Master Sword Theme" from the _Legend of Zelda_ games. Alice looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

"What?" I said.

Alice shook her head, but gave a look of triumph having found the ancient blade. We then made our way out of the Bandersnatch's stall. After giving him one last look, and me giving him a thumbs up, we went back into the castle.

* * *

We raced back to where Hatter was being held.

"Stand back, Mallymkun," Alice said as we walked through the door. Mally was trying to pick the lock on Hatter's leg. She stepped back. "How's _this_ for muchness?" Alice lifted the Vorpal Sword over her head, ready to strike at Hatter's chains.

"No! No!" Hatter cried. "It mustn't be used for anything-"

But at that moment, the doors swung open. It was Stayne with some guards, and he looked ticked.

"Arrest that girl for unlawful seduction!" he ordered. I couldn't believe what I was hearing! That fraud! "And take that boy to the brickyards!"

I went numb for a moment. "Guys, one of you do something NOW!" I screamed.

Hatter got up. "Take the sword to the White Queen!" he commanded.

"We're not leaving without you!" Alice argued.

"Go!"

Hatter pulled two rolls of fabric and threw them at the guards, knocking them over. He then grabbed a sombrero and threw it at Stayne, who cut it in half with his sword. Hatter then tried to reach for the manikin again, but had no avail. Thankfully, Mally lifted his chains where they were wound around on the table, enabling the Hatter to grab the manikin and use it as a shield. Then he grabbed a powder puff and hit Stayne in the face with it. Man, Hatter was a badbutt! But just as he grabbed a bottle of perfume, Mally screamed at us, "RUN ALICE!"

Stayne turned to us, a malicious look of delight breaking across his face. "Alice," he said with much schadenfreude. He then looked at me. "And _you_ must be her faithful sidekick, Pinocchio."

_CRAP, CRAP, CRAP, CRAP CRAP CRAP_, _CRAP_! I thought.

"RUN!" Hatter yelled.

Alice bolted out the door.

"Well, I'm out of here," I said. But I must've taken off_ way_ too fast, because the next thing I knew I was back in the room. "What just happened?" But I had no time for wondering about that, so I sprinted after Alice with much less ferocity.

* * *

We ran out to the courtyard, but were then cornered by a circle of guards who brandished their spears at us.

"Alice!" We heard Stayne's voice. "Of course, why didn't I see it. Well, it has been a long time, and you were such a little tike then. Give me the sword."

One of the card guards waved its spear at us.

"Stay back!" Alice said, pointing the sword at them.

"The queen will be so pleased," Stayne continued. "She'll take great pleasure in taking off your heads."

Two card soldiers grabbed Alice by the arms, but before they could get me, a trimendous roar sounded from behind. A second later, the Bandersnatch came rampaging out from his stable, knocking over the card guards that were in its way. He ran up to me and Alice and let us climb onto his back. Throwing my arms around Alice's waist, we then rode out of the castle. FINALLY!

"Alice!" A voice called just as we crossed the bridge. It was Bayard.

"Bayard! To Mamoreal!" Alice said.

Bayard took the lead and we went sprinting down the road.

* * *

**_Author's Note:_**

**_Hey everyone. SO so sorry that this is so late. School started, so assignments got in the way. Then I got sick. Ugh, it's been awful. Anyway, here's the next chapter. This chapter took a while so that's another reason why it's so late. Anyway, enjoy and please remember to leave a review. _**


	7. Chapter 6- Mamoreal

Chapter 6- Mamoreal

After an hour, we finally made it to Mamoreal. When we entered the courtyard of the White Queen's castle, we climbed off the Bandersnatch and ran to the doors. The guards at the door wouldn't let us in, at first, but when I explained who we were, they backed off.

The White Queen's throne room was beautiful and full of light. _Much_ better than her sister's. And there sitting on the throne was the White Queen. She was gorgeous and had a kind face. And everything else about her was, well, white: her hair, her dress, and even her skin.

As Alice and I approached, she greeted us graciously.

"Welcome to Mamoreal," she said with a smile.

I took my hat off and bowed politely to her.

"Believe this belongs to you," Alice said, handing her the sword.

The Queen held the sword to her face, closing her eyes and breathing deeply, as if taking in the swords grandness or as if greeting it like it was an old friend. She opened her eyes and smiled.

"The Vorpal Sword is home again," she said, walking over to some silver armor that sat right next to her throne. "The armor is complete."

She turned back to us, giving us a significant look. "Now all we need is a champion."

I looked up at Alice and saw her looking at the floor. For the first time, I agreed with her that she wasn't ready for this.

"You're a little taller than I thought you'd be," the White Queen went on.

"Blame it on too much _Upelkuchen_," Alice explained. I chuckled, rolling my eyes.

"Ah, come with me," the White Queen said, taking Alice's hand, and leading her to a room that looked like the castle's kitchen, with me following. Everything smelled delicious, making my stomach begin to growl. It was then I realized how hungry I was. I suddenly remembered how I hadn't had anything to eat ever since we got there, not counting the cakes.

As we entered, the White Queen ducked down as a bowl of soup came flying at the door.

"Is the March Hare here?" Alice asked.

We got our answer the second after. The March Hare was jumping around the place, throwing stuff into a random bowl. He then threw a salt shaker at the door where the soup had landed. I was starting to guess that he had had a swig of coffee before we came in.

The White Queen led us over to a cast-iron stove, where different ingredients were sitting.

"Ah, _pishalver_. We need … a pinch of worm fat, urine of the horsefly, buttered fingers …"

All of this would've made me sick if I didn't know better that those were just potion ingredients. Thank you _Harry Potter_.

"My sister preferred to study … Dominion Over Living Things."

I was beginning to hope that I would never find out about this woman's.

"Tell me," she went on, "how does she seem to you both."

"Perfectly horrid," Alice answered.

"A complete nutcase," was my answer.

"And her head?"

"Bulbous."

"And I thought_ Jupiter_ was huge."

"I think she may have some kind of growth in there … something pressing on her brain," the White Queen explained.

My guess that the thing that was pressing her brain was her undealt with rage.

"Three coins from dead man's pocket," the Queen went on with the ingredients, "two teaspoons of wishful thinking …"

"You can't imagine the things that go on in that place."

Even I was surprised. I was not expecting Alice to blurt out _that_.

"Well, yes, I can," the Queen answered, a look of sadness in her eyes. I could feel my heart breaking a little, beginning to wonder how much she had to put up with that nightmare. "But when a champion steps forth to slay the Jabberwocky, the people will rise against her." She then spit into the potion, most likely being the last ingredient. "That should do it," she said, smiling. She poured some of it into a cup and offered it to Alice. "Blow."

Alice blew into it and took a sip.

"How does it taste," I said, attempting to give her a hard time.

"It actually taste like pea soup," she said.

I was surprised to hear that.

"That's what it taste like after it's first brewed," the White Queen explained.

Two seconds later, Alice began to shrink back to her normal height, having to catch her dress as she shrunk.

"Feel better?" the Queen asked.

"Much, thank you," Alice said.

"There's someone here who would like to speak to you both," she said as she led us out of the kitchen.

* * *

We didn't get to speak with our said person until night fell.

The White Queen led us through her topiary garden. Alice was wearing a dress that was white and seemed to be much more comfortable on her than that ugly dress she had to wear. The Queen gestured down a curve in the hedges and we began to walk down it. At the end, off to the left, there was a cloud of blue smoke covering a large mushroom. Only one person, or in this case, _thing_, could've been behind all that smoke.

"Absolem?" Alice asked as we approached.

"Who are you?" he said, blowing smoke in our faces, forcing us to cough.

"I thought we'd settled this. We're Pinocchio and Alice, … but I'm not _that_ one."

"How do you know?" he asked, putting the tip of the hookah in his mouth.

"You said so yourself."

"I said you are Not Hardly Alice. But you're much more her now. In fact, you're Almost Alice."

"Even so, I couldn't slay the Jabberwocky if my life depended on it."

I sighed exasperatedly. I was feeling bad for Alice before, but now I'd gone back to being annoyed at her insecurity.

"It will," Absolem said in a matter-of-factly voice. "So I suggest you keep the Vorpal Sword on hand when the Frabjous Day arrives."

"You seem so real," Alice said, getting a closer look at the insect. "Sometimes I forget that this is all a dream."

Absolem then blew smoke in our faces again.

"Will you stop doing that!" Alice coughed.

"Yeah, are you trying to expose us to second-hand smoking?" I said annoyed.

Absolem merely laughed at our expense and disappeared into a cloud of smoke.

Alice looked even more annoyed than before. "Come on. Let's go," she said, leading me away from the mushroom and back through the garden.

* * *

The next day was just a fun day of us relaxing. I got to explore the gardens and got to know some of the local Pokemon who were living there. They seemed to be a lot happier than the Pokemon who were trapped in the Red Queen's castle. I learned from them that once Alice killed the Jabberwocky, all of the Pokemon that the Red Queen had enslaved would be freed, which made me very happy. I also got to meet the White Queen's Pokemon, Sylveon, the Intertwining Pokemon. Thanks to this, Alice and I were able to release our Pokemon and let them stretch their legs and play for a little bit. Later on that day, I was able to rally up a bunch of the White Queen's court members and get them hyped on some Van Halen and Aerosmith. It was very lucky that the year down here was the same as my current year (2019), so they knew exactly who I was singing about.

But the _best_ part of the day happened that evening.

Alice, the White Queen, Bayard, and I were standing on the parapet of the White Queen's castle stargazing. I kept on pointing out random groups of stars in the sky and giving them goofy constellation names.

"I had hoped to have a champion by now," the White Queen said after a while.

"Why don't you slay the Jabberwocky yourself?" Alice asked. "You must have the power."

"It is against my vows to harm any living creature," the Queen explained, while at the same time batting away a firefly that flew in her face, making me smile a little.

She then looked through her telescope, a big smile breaking on her face.

"We have company," she said and then left.

Alice looked through the telescope and began smiling herself.

"Have a look, Bayard," she said, letting the dog look through.

"Bielle!" the bloodhound cried with joy, his tail started to wag vigorously.

Alice then gave the telescope to me. Through it, I saw the Hatter with the Tweedles, Mctwisp, Mally, a female bloodhound with some puppies, and …

"_Coraline_!" I shouted horsley with both surprise and delight. I hadn't had any idea how she'd gotten down here, but I was so happy, I thought I would explode.

All three of us ran down to the courtyard to greet our friends (and in Bayard's case, family).

When Coraline spotted me, her eyes got really big and a smile as big as mine stretched across her face. She ran to me, tears flying down her cheeks. We threw our arms around each other, laughing. I picked Coraline up and spun her around a few times.

"I can't believe you're here!" I said elatedly. "How did you-"

"You hadn't written for a few weeks, so I got worried and went looking for you," she explained. "Then I found this rabbit hole, fell down it, and now here I am!"

I smacked myself on the forehead, embarrassed by the tardiness of my letters. "I'm so sorry," I groaned. "We've been really busy. Alice was getting proposed to this freak, and-"

"It's all right," Coraline said, putting her hand on my shoulder. "I figured you might've been busy or something. I just wanted to check if you were okay."

We hugged each other again.

"How did you get mixed up with the Red Queen?" I asked.

"I ran into her guards one day and they accused me of causing trouble. I tried to fight back, but they arrested me. I've been stuck in the dungeons for two weeks."

"Well, at least you didn't get decapitated."

I then noticed the Cheshire Cat giving Hatter back his hat. I took Coraline's hand and led her over to Hatter and Alice.

"Coraline, this is the one and only Alice Kingsleigh," I introduced. "Alice, this is my girlfriend Coraline Jones."

"A pleasure to meet you," Alice said, curtsying.

"A pleasure to meet you, too," Coraline said, taking Alice's hand and shaking it vigorously. "I've heard a lot about you, in both Pinocchio's letters and from being stuck in jail."

"And this is-"

"Hatter," Coraline finished for me. "I know him. We shared the same cell."

I smiled at the fact that Coraline had gotten a chance to know the guy.

"It's good to see you again, bud," I said, shaking his hand.

"It's good to see you, too," Hatter said. "And it's been a pleasure getting to know your girlfriend."

I smiled.

* * *

Later on that night, Alice, Coraline, and I were overlooking Wonderland from one of the towers. I'd gotten Coraline up to speed on everything that was going on, and she was more than ready to help fight.

None of us said anything until Hatter showed up.

"Have you any idea why a raven is like a writing desk?" he asked as he approached.

We all smiled.

"Let me think about it," Alice answered.

"You know what tomorrow is, don't you?"

Alice's smile suddenly dropped. "Frabjous day. How could I forget? I wish Pinocchio and I would wake up."

"Huh?" Coraline said confused.

"Still believe this is a dream?" Hatter asked.

"Of course. This has all come from our own minds."

Hatter looked as though he had a sudden moment of realization. "Which would mean … that _I'm_ not real."

"And I'm not here?" Coraline said just as dejectedly.

"Afraid so," Alice said. "You're just a figment of my imagination. And I think Pinocchio is just dreaming you up because he misses you."

I gave Alice an insulted look.

"I _would_ dream up someone who is half mad," Alice said, as if trying to make the Hatter feel better.

"Yes, yes," Hatter said. "But you would have to be half mad to dream me up."

"I must be then," Alice said, smiling.

"And I guess I really _do _miss you," I said turning to Coraline. She smiled and kissed me on the cheek.

"I miss you when I wake up," Alice said to Hatter.

Hatter smiled at this, but then his face fell, the thought of him not actually existing most likely overtaking his mind again.

* * *

_**Author's Note:**_

_**Hi everyone. SOOOOO sorry this one is so late. FREAKING SCHOOL! I may not be able to upload another chapter for a while because I'm going away for Christmas. But I'll try my best. Enjoy and merry Christmas. And please remember to leave a review. **_


	8. Chapter 7- Nerves

Chapter 7- Nerves

The next morning, everyone at the White Queen's castle gathered in the courtyard to discuss matters for the upcoming battle.

McTwisp pulled out his trumpet at blew a gathering call to get everyone's attention.

"Who will step forth to be champion for the White Queen?" he called out.

"That would be I," Hatter said, stepping forward.

I gave a confused look. Didn't everyone know that _Alice_ was the one who would kill the Jabberwocky? But then another thought came into my mind: perhaps Hatter was doing it because he knew that Alice wasn't ready and wanted to help her out …. At least he was being valiant about it.

"You have very poor evaporating skills," the Cheshire Cat said, suddenly appearing next to Hatter. Hatter gave him a look as if he was the biggest pain in his butt, which made me snigger a little. "I should be the one."

"I'll do it!" Mally called.

"No, me," Tweedledum said, stepping up with his sword.

"No, _me_," Tweedledee followed, drawing his sword.

The White Queen looked at Mctwisp, who unravelled the Oraculum to the picture of Alice killing the Jabberwocky.

"No other slayer, no-how," Tweedledum said.

"If it ain't Alice, it ain't dead," Tweedledee agreed.

Everyone looked at Alice, while I looked at the White Queen, who was cringing a little, as if she too knew that Alice wasn't ready. I looked over at Alice, who was looking as nervous as she did at the proposal, except maybe a little more pressured.

"Alice," the White Queen said with a hint of understanding, walking over to Alice, "you cannot live your life to please others. The choice must be yours because when you step out to face that creature, … you will step out alone."

I gasped. That wasn't part of the plan! I was going to be there helping Alice the entire time. I was her protector; that was my job!

As I saw Alice's eyes begin to well up with tears, she ran off.

"Alice!" I cried, running after her, with Coraline at my tail.

"Why can't Alice just turn into a Lugia and kill the Jabberwocky that way?" Coraline panted as we ran through the castle.

"Because that won't work," I explained. "The prophecy states that only the Vorpal Sword and Alice wielding it is the only way to kill it."

Coraline gave a sad look, as if she now understood why Alice was so nervous.

After not finding Alice anywhere in the castle, we began to search the gardens. After what felt like half an hour, Coraline and I had to stop to catch our breaths. As I clutched the stitch in my chest, I heard Alice's voice. Grabbing Coraline's wrist, I ran to where it was coming from.

Turning a corner, we found Alice, sitting on a bench. I noticed that her face was damp, but also as if she had just had a huge revelation.

"Alice!" I cried as we ran toward her. She looked up at us as we approached. "Are you okay?"

She looked down again, still looking dazed.

"Alice," I began, "I know you're nervous, and you have a right to be-"

"This place is real," she breathed. "All of this is real. Those dreams that we've been continuously having, they weren't dreams; they were all memories."

My mind drew a blank. "Wait … so we're _not_ dreaming?"

"No! This whole place is real!"

"Who told you that?"

Alice pointed to a tree over to the left. I turned around and saw that there was a silver-looking cocoon-thing hanging from it.

"What is that?" I asked still confused.

"Absolem," Alice said.

It took me a second to realize that Absolem was in a cocoon now. "Oh!"

"Who's Absolem?" Coraline asked.

"I'll tell you later," I said, not wanting to get too off track.

I was still confused about everything, though. "But if it's all real, then why is it when we first returned back home it appeared to be a dream?"

"I don't know."

None of this made any sense to me. This was even more confusing than trying to figure out the timeline in _Kingdom Hearts_. I itched my nose, but as I itched it, a memory came flooding back to me. That tingling sensation that I felt whenever we were going back and forth to different places at the end of our dreams.

"We teleported," I blurted out.

Both Coraline and Alice looked at me confused.

"Alice, when we were jumping around from place to place at the end of the dream, I would always feel this weird tingly feeling …. I think that was you!"

"Huh?" Alice said.

"Your Lugia powers. They were reacting to the danger of the situation. You were using Teleport!"

Alice's eyes widened. "So, … I didn't learn that move when I saved us from the Pokemon hunters. I already knew it." Her face when back to being confused. "But then how did we get home and make it seem like we were asleep, because I know I couldn't have done that?"

I had to think harder about this. Then it hit me again.

"Your dad," I rallied on. "Your Lugia dad. The last tingling I felt was much stronger than the others. Your Lugia dad must've sense you were in danger, so he teleported us out of here and made it seem like this whole place was a dream!"

Alice looked as though she could hardly believe this.

"You have a good dad," Coraline said, putting a comforting arm on Alice's shoulder.

But then Alice's face fell again. "But that still means that this place is real."

Sadness stabbed at my heart, but then I took a deep breath and put my hand on Alice's other shoulder.

"Alice, you can do it," I said firmly, but soothingly, "because _I_ know you can."

Alice looked up at me.

"So do I," Coraline chimed in, causing Alice to look at her.

"Should we have ourselves a little prayer before going into battle?" I asked, hoping this would ease Alice's anxiety.

Both girls nodded, and we folded our hands and bowed our heads.

"Father in Heaven," I prayed, "we now understand why You have brought us to this strange, yet wonderful place. Because these people need us; we are a part of this world's destiny and it is a part of ours. However, this whole going into battle and killing a giant creature is new to some of us, so I ask for You to give Alice - no - _all_ of us courage as we march into war and bring peace to this suffering land. Let us feel your loving and ever-present presence with us as we do so. Amen."

We all looked at each other in silence after that. Alice then got up, a look as if she were ready for what she had to do on her face, and nodded to the both of us. And we nodded back.

* * *

_**Author's Note:**_

_**Hi everyone. I hope you all had a great Christmas. Enjoy this next chapter, and don't forget to review.**_


	9. Chapter 8- Frabjous Day Battle

Chapter 8- Frabjous Day Battle

After getting Alice into the armor that stood in the White Queen's throne room, fetching the Vorpal Sword, giving Coraline her own sword from my bottomless backpack, getting my own sword, and mounting the Bandersnatch, we rode valiantly out to the courtyard, where the soldiers, our friends, and the White Queen were waiting. When Alice rode up to her, she gave her a confident smile, which she returned. I gave her a thumbs up and Coraline nodded faithfully. We then marched into battle.

After clearing the Tulgey Wood, we arrived at the battle field, which looked like a huge chess board. And there was the Red Queen with her army on the other side. Somehow, I could tell we were outnumbered, but like in many outnumbered situations, that didn't matter.

The White Queen slid off her horse and walked out into the middle of the battlefield where her sister stood.

McTwisp blew into his trumpet. "On this, the Frabjous Day," he called out, "the queens, Red and White, shall send forth their champions to do battle on their behalf.

I could tell that the queens were having a few words with each other before the fight. I couldn't tell what they were saying until the Red Queen screamed out, "NO! IT IS MY CROWN! I AM THE ELDEST! JABBERWOCKY!"

Across the battlefield in a black field, a large form suddenly appeared. The Jabberwocky looked like how it did in the pictures on the Oraculum: like a big, black dangerous dragon.

"Oh man," Coraline whispered.

"Don't worry; this will be easy. It'll be just like fighting Volvagia in _Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time_," I said, trying to sound more confident than how I actually felt. It was going to be nothing like that battle.

"This is impossible," Alice said.

"Only if you believe it is," Hatter whispered.

Alice was silent for a few minutes, but then said, "Sometimes, I believe in six impossible things before breakfast.

I smiled at that.

"That is an excellent practice," Hatter said as the Jabberwocky got closer. "However, just at the moment, you really might want to focus on the Jabberwocky."

The Jabberwocky was now at the Red Queen's side. "Where's your champion, sister?" I heard her say.

Alice stepped forward, that same glint appearing in her eyes that she got every time she went into a Pokemon battle (both as a human and a Lugia).

Alice walked towards the Jabberwocky, sword and shield raised.

"So, my old foe," the Jabberwocky said (apparently it could talk now), "we meet on the battlefield once again."

Alice must've said something to it, of course I couldn't hear because she was, like, thirty feet away, because the Jabberwocky then snapped, "Not you, insignificant barer. My ancient enemy; the Vorpal one."

Alice then cut off the Jabberwocky's tongue, which it kept sticking out.

"Go Alice!" I whooped.

The Jabberwocky then punched Alice over to the right, where she landed on her stomach. It was about to step on her, but she rolled away. She got up and had to shield herself to block the electricity that the Jabberwocky breathed out. Then she started slashing at it vigorously. Guess she finally got that bloodlust for killing it. She ran underneath it, but the Jabberwocky turned around and punched her hard. I gasped. She went flying over to the left and landed on her back, letting out a groan of pain. Shed dropped the Vorpal Sword, as well.

"Come on, Alice," I murmured nervously. "Get up."

Then something caught my eye. Hatter had walked out onto the battlefield and poked the Jabberwocky with his sword. Distracted, it swung its tail at Hatter, who ducked like there was no problem.

"THE HATTER'S INTERFERING!" the Red Queen screamed. "OFF WITH HIS HEAD!"

The Red Queen's army charged.

"Ready?" I said to Coraline as we lifted our swords.

"You know I am," she answered, her eyes confident.

We both charged, focusing only on the soldiers in front of us.

We ran into the battle, and I was having the biggest adrenaline rush I'd ever had. I was slashing, kicking, and beating the ever living crap out of the card soldiers. Coraline wasn't doing so shabby herself. At one point, we were back to back with each other, surrounded by a bunch of card soldiers. Giving each other a knowing look, we did a double spin slash, knocking the soldiers into the dust. Everything was happening so fast that I wasn't even paying attention to what Alice was doing. The fight suddenly ended when we heard her yell, "OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!"

We all look up. Alice had cut off the Jabberwocky's head, which went tumbling down towards the Red Queen's feet. The look on her face was priceless.

Coraline and I dropped our swords and ran up to Alice who was standing on some stone steps.

"KILL THEM!" the Red Queen screamed.

"We follow you no more, Bloody Big Head," said one of the card soldiers.

"_Ooooohhh_!" I laughed.

"How dare you!" the Red Queen said. "OFF WITH HIS HEAD!"

Nobody did anything. Everyone dropped their weapons, seeing the battle was over.

Suddenly the Red Queen's crown began floating in the air and changed into a much prettier crown. Cheshire appeared holding the crown and placed it on the White Queen's head.

"Iracebeth of Crims," she said to her sister. "Your crimes against Underland are worthy of death. However, it is against my vows. Therefore you are banished to the Outlands. No one is to show you any kindness or ever speak a word to you. And you will not have a friend in the world."

"Majesty," said Stayne, suddenly appearing. "I hope you bear me no ill will."

"Only this once, Ilosovic Stayne. You will join Iracebeth in banishment from this day until the end of Underland."

Suddenly from the sky, a Magnezone, the Magnet Area Pokemon, and two Mageneton, the Magnet Pokemon, appeared, sirens sounding as they approached.

"Your majesty," the Magnezone said in monotone robotic sounding voice, bowing to the White Queen. He looked at the Red Queen and Stayne with disdain. "All right boys. Cuff 'em."

The Magneton shot out electricity from their magnet arms onto the Red Queen and Stayne's arms and handcuffs appeared.

"You know what to do, Chief Magnezone," the White Queen said.

"_Chief_ Magnezone!" I said loudly, totally amazed. They even had a Pokemon as their _police chief_!

"At least we have each other," the Red Queen said to Stayne, smiling at him.

Stayne had the same expression on his face that Alice would make whenever she and I were left alone together at the Kingsleigh's house. However, _his_ was less comical. He then pulled out a knife and aimed it at the Red Queen's face. But then Hatter threw his scissors at Stayne's hand, making him drop the knife.

"MAJESTY, PLEASE KILL ME!" Stayne yelled like he had totally lost it. "PLEASE!"

"But I do not owe you a kindness," the White Queen said.

"_OOOOOOHHHHH_!" I laughed again. Man, the White Queen was _savage_.

"TAKE OFF MY HEAD!" Stayne screamed.

"All right, you two," said Magnezone. "Let's go." The Magneton shot electricity from their magnets onto the handcuffs and began dragging them away.

"HE TRIED TO KILL ME!" the Red Queen screamed.

I began singing the first few lines of "Lonesome Loser" in my head, smiling at the villains' expense.

"Oh, Frabjous Day!" I heard Hatter cheer. "Calloo! Callay!"

He then began dancing in like this super tricked out way. It was like breakdancing taken to the next level. Different parts of his body were turning around at different intervals, and at one point his head started spinning like crazy. It kind of reminded me of Ferb's dance from that one _Phineas and Ferb_ episode.

"What is he doing?" Alice asked as Cheshire appeared.

"_Futterwacken_," he answered.

"Oh, so _that's_ what that is," I said, finally understanding.

He eventually ended his dance with a flourish. We all clapped for him, me feeling like I'd just seen the coolest thing in my life. It made me want to do that dance so bad, but then I realized that a dance like that should only be done by professionals. I wish I was that double-jointed.

We then saw the White Queen walk over to the Jabberwocky's severed head, take out a vial, and caught some of the blood that was dripping from its teeth into it. She walked over to us.

"The blood of the Jabberwocky," she said. "You three have our everlasting gratitude. And for your efforts on our behalf."

She handed the vial to Alice.

"Will this take us home?" Alice asked.

"If that is what you chose." She stroked Alice's cheek gently, giving us all a warm smile.

Alice opened the vial and was about to put the purple liquid down her throat when Hatter's voice sounded from behind.

"You all could stay."

We all turned around, smiling at the suggestion.

"What an idea," Alice said. "A crazy, mad, wonderful idea." But then her smile fell, as did ours. "But we can't. There are questions I have to answer. Things we have to do."

She then drank some of the blood and handed it to me. I took a small swig of it and then handed it to Coraline. Surprisingly, it tasted like grape juice.

"We'll be back again before you know it," Alice promised.

"You all won't remember me," Hatter said.

"Of course we will. How could we forget?"

Hatter smiled as I nodded in agreement.

"Hatter," Alice said, "why _is _a raven like a writing desk?"

"I haven't the slightest idea," Hatter said.

I busted out laughing at this. "Hatter, you are hilarious," I guffawed.

Hatter leaned closer to us. "_Fairfarren_, friends."

I smiled at him, giving him a "peace out" sign. Suddenly, Wonderland started getting blurry, and then there was a flash of light.

* * *

_**Author's Note:**_

_**Hi everyone. Again, SOOOO sorry that this is late. STUPID SCHOOL! Hopefully, I'll be able to upload the last chapter of this much sooner than how frequently I've been uploading things. Enjoy and don't forget to leave a review. **_


	10. Chapter 9: Alice's Decisions

Chapter 9- Alice's Decisions

The three of us clambered out of the rabbit hole. I felt as though I'd just climbed Mount Everest without any climbing gear whatsoever.

After lying on my back and breathing like a maniac for a few seconds, I got onto my feet. It was then that I noticed the Ascot's house in the background.

"Right," I said nervously. "The engagement party."

But when I looked at Alice, she looked as though she knew what she was going to do. When she looked down at me, I nodded to her confidently. Taking each others' hands, we began trekking back to the gardens.

Before long, we made it back to the party and walked into plain view on the gazebo. Everyone gasped when they saw us.

"Alice," Hamish said in both shock and disgust.

"God Lord," Lord Ascot breathed. "Are you all right?"

"What happened to you?" Ms. Kingsleigh asked, equally concerned,

"We all fell down a hole and hit our heads," Alice said. I smiled.

I then noticed that everyone was staring at Coraline.

"Oh, this is my girlfriend, Coraline," I quickly introduced. "Don't ask how she got here because I'm not telling." I put my arm around her shoulders and she smiled at me. I looked up at Alice who was smiling as well. Then she turned back to Hamish.

"I'm sorry, Hamish," she said. "I can't marry you. You're not the right man for me. Especially that problem with your digestion."

"Oh, and there's something I've been wanting to do for the longest time to you, Hamish," I said. With all the strength I could muster, I kicked him in the weiner. He held onto his crotch, crying out in pain and doubling over. "_That's_ for … pretty much everything about you." Coraline and I then joined Alice as she walked off the gazebo and toward Margaret.

"I love you, Margaret, but this is my life," she said, taking her sister's hand. "I'll decide what to do with it." I nodded to her.

We then turned our attention to Lowell. "You're lucky to have my sister as your wife, Lowell," Alice said in a _watch-yourself_ sort of voice. "You be good to her, and we'll be watching _very closely_. I gave him the "I'm watching you" gesture.

Next came Aunt Imogene. "There's no price, Aunt Imogene," Alice said, taking her hands. "You have to talk with someone about these delusions." She gave Alice an understanding look. I patted her hand gently.

Alice then turned to Lady Ascot. "I happen to love rabbits," she said in a firm voice, "_especially_ white ones." She gave us a disapproving look, while I blew a raspberry at her.

Alice then walked over to her mom. "Don't worry, Mother. I'll find something useful to do with my life." Her mom's face looked worried, but her eyes looked trusting. "I'll take care of her," I said kindly, taking her hand. She smiled confidently at me.

Alice then turned to the Chattaway twins who were standing nearby. "You two remind me of some funny boys that I met in a dream." I gave them a thumbs up, while they looked at each other, confused.

"You've left me out," Lord Ascot said in a sudden cheerful voice, walking up to us.

"No we haven't, sir," Alice said, smiling. "You and I have work to do."

"Shall we … meet in the study?"

Alice smiled wider and began to head off, with us behind her.

"Oh," she said, turning, "and one more thing."

Alice lifted up her skirt and started, which took me a few seconds to recognize, futterwacken. Mine and Coraline's mouths dropped open in amused amazement. It was confirmed: Alice was the best troll in existence. I don't know why I didn't realize that a long time ago?

We then continued to the study, with me throwing my arms in the air whooping loudly.

"My father told me that he planned to expand his trade route to Sumatra and Borneo," Alice said, looking over a map as Lord Ascot entered the study, "but I don't think he was looking far enough. Why not go all the way to China?" Now _this_ I liked the sound of. "It's vast, the culture is rich, and we have a foothold in Hong Kong. To be the first to trade with China, can you imagine." It had been a long time since I'd seen Alice this excited. Coraline and I smiled at each other. Lord Ascot, however, looked a little nervous.

"You know, if anyone else had said that to me, I'd say, 'I think you've lost your senses'," he said. "But I've seen that look before." I looked at Alice, and she was wearing the same determined look that her human father always got when his mind was set on something. "Well, as you're not going to be my daughter-in-law, perhaps you and your friends would consider becoming apprentices with the company."

Alice smiled in agreement, and Lord Ascot smiled back. Like with Wonderland, this guy wasn't all that bad as I'd made him out to be. Coraline and I gave each other excited looks and high-fived.

* * *

After several months of planning and all that other jazz, Alice, Coraline, and I were on our way to China. As we climbed aboard the ship _The Wonder_, we looked back at the dock. Alice's mom, Lord Ascot, and Margaret stood there waving good-bye to us. We all waved back. We walked up to the front of the ship to get a better look at the vast expanse of water that was the sea. Flashbacks of when Alice first met her Lugia dad came flooding back to me.

"Hello, Absolem," I heard Alice's voice.

I looked up and saw a blue butterfly land on Alice's shoulder. Gasping excitedly, I shook Coraline. I pointed up at Absolem and she too let out an excited gasp. He then flew away.

I looked out at the ocean again, ready for another adventure.

* * *

_**Author's Note:**_

_**Hey everyone. SOOOOOOOOO sorry this one is so late. FREAKING SCHOOL! Anyway, I've finally finished the fanfic for my all-time favorite movie! Took longer than I expected. I would once again like to thank Jesus for giving me this idea and the chance to write it down. I'd also like to thank the great Tim Burton for creating such an amazing movie. Enjoy and happy Easter. And don't forget to leave a review.**_


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